March 3

”For a few hours we call night it seems to be gone, but it is still shiningly there and will reappear on the morrow. Storms may darken the sky at noonday, but the sun is still there and will soon break through.” Neal A. Maxwell

My current partner asked me recently how my sex life was now compared to when I was in my addiction. My first reaction was that it was like night and day. I reflected on this and began to see that my comparison was more accurate than I first imagined. Sex from my compulsive acting out is like looking around at night in the darkness. Colors were muted, details were lost, and things were but a shadow of their real form. This describes many of my sexual encounters that were shallow, with no deeper connection or meaning to them. Although my addict knew the true shape and substance of everything, what I experienced was but a ghostly image of what was really there. My healthier sexual relations today are much more like the daytime. Colors are vibrant, details are sharp and clear, and I am able to see and appreciate things for what they are. I am able to viewthe many nuances of life, and connect with all my senses to the world around me. All this has helped me discover a new level of intimacy that I can share with my special someone.

Affirmation I will embrace true intimacy and develop healthy sexual relationships as I learn to connect with all my senses.