December 17

”Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” Les Brown

There are days where I find being responsible for my life a great burden. Usually this is due to my doing the right things and still having unpleasant things happen that I have little or no control over. It’s not always easy to remember all the blessings I have when tragedy strikes or when things I love are taken away. Life is not always fair. So what helps – getting angry at my Higher Power? Maybe for a brief moment. Pouting or getting depressed? Not really, this takes me away from people in my life who care about me, including myself. Writing, meditating, prayer or something else to allow myself to feel the emotions I am feeling? This is often the most unnatural reaction, yet the more I go here, the sooner I feel better. Life happens, the good, bad and the ugly. Most of life happens because of things I have absolutely no influence or control over. That’s just the way it is. So why do I have to try and fix everything all the time – it simply cannot be done, I am not God. It’s not my place to make things better. So I am left to live through my part in it all, make peace with my feelings, and take that next step forward, trusting in the God of my understanding. But for the grace of God go I, sometimes slowly, sometimes painfully, sometimes begrudgingly, but forward I will go.

Affirmation

Responsibility for my life includes being responsible to accept my feelings and to temper my reactions. I will be kind to myself when things are not going my way.

September 23

”He who angers you conquers you.” Elizabeth Kenny

It’s been an interesting turn as I realize that when I am upset, frustrated or angry that I am giving away my power, my serenity, to the thing or person that is causing me the grief. I am willingly allowing that external source to control how I feel, how I act and how I react. And it’s my choice to do so. So therefore it can also be my choice not to either. Life is not always fair, others do not always act in ways that are just, reasonable or respectful. Most of the time there is nothing I can do about it either. I don’t have to enjoy or like these situations, but I also don’t have to let them get under my skin. I always have the option to continue to take the higher road, to live by my own examples and morals, and to treat others as I would like to be treated, especially when I know the same kindness would not be returned to me. I am not going to please everyone. Probably not even most. But that is not my goal, which is to be true to myself, to be open to the will of my Higher Power and to follow His guidance. The trivial things of the everyday world around me pale in comparison to my true path, so I need to focus on doing the right things, no matter the circumstances around me.

Affirmation I will recognise when I am angry and frustrated and look to let go and instead put those feelings aside and treat others better than they treat me.

November 2 (92)

”Fairness is not an attitude. It’s a professional skill that must be developed and exercised.” Brit Hume

I am certainly seeing that life does not always feel fair and just. As much as I would like the world to be respectful and honourable, the truth is that sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t. What really matters is how I fulfill my role, if I choose to be honest and just regardless of the actions of others. I may not always be treated in kind but that is no excuse for me to behave poorly. It is important for me to live by my new set of values and morals, even if this not how I used to be. My change of attitude and behaviours is probably least accepted by those who are closest to me. They are the ones most betrayed and most familiar with whom I used to be. It is with them that only time and consistency in my new way of living that will allow them to being to trust that this isn’t just another phase, another attempt to make good long enough to go back to my old habits. Like many things in my recovery, being fair and just is another tool that I need to practice and strengthen. It may feel unnatural at first, but in time it will become part of my new “normal.” I just have to keep at it.

Affirmation It will be a challenge to prove to others that I am in recovery to stay, slowly and steadily must I continue along my journey.