May 26

”To think bad thoughts is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral into ever increasing unhappiness. To think good thoughts, however, requires effort. This is one of the things that discipline – training – is about.” James Clavell

Affirmations are a powerful tool in recovery. My natural tendency has been to focus on all that is wrong with me – that I am not good enough or attractive enough or whatever and to constantly put myself down. This kind of thinking fueled my addiction and helped me to justify my actions. I no longer want to be that negative person and I am continuously finding reasons to believe in myself. Old habits are hard to overcome, so practicing affirmations has helped me to change the way I think about and view myself. It was awkward at first, standing in front of the mirror and telling myself things like “I am worthwhile” or “I am loved because I deserve love.” Yet with practice and persistence (and a little “fake it til you make it”),  I gradually came to believe the words and to discover the worth within me which had always been there. Life still doesn’t always go the way I want or expect. I am aware that many things are not in my control but I can let them go. Some things are just not meant to be. I know deep within that I have value, that I am lovable, and that is all I need.

Affirmation Today I will practice affirmations to strengthen my sense of value and worth. It may seem foolish but it works.

May 14

”Nothing endures but change.” Heractilus

Change is still a scary thing. Change can make me feel anxious, nervous, afraid, angry…and usually does more often than it makes me feel happy or accepting. I am a creature of habit and I know much of my natural tendency is to want to remain exactly the way I am. And this is okay. Most change I face in day-to-day situations is external to me. It is generally not anything that I can do much about, or even influence. A lesson I am learning is that experiencing change around me does not mean that it will change who I am. I need to repeat this – experiencing change does not mean that it will change who I am. The only way for me to change is to decide to change myself. I can do this by actively working on making aspects of myself different, or passively b neglecting to do things to remain true to myself. Yet fearing external changes will affect the core of who I am I only a fact if I choose let it happen. This revelation helps to relieve my fear, anxiety and worry. Certainly changes can and will affect my environment and it can be challenging. Yet I still have all my skills and resources, my internal abilities, to cop in adapting to a new situation. My core being will remain intact as long as I choose it to be that way.

Affirmation I can look at change in a new light by accepting that the only person who can change me is myself.