September 18

”Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise nor blame.” Thomas Kempis

When I think of serenity, the picture that comes to mind is that of looking at a lake, just as the sun rises, on a windless day, where the water glows like a sheet of glass in the warm golden glow of the sun. Nothing disturbs its surface; it is perfectly still and balanced. It is this state of calmness I seek in my meditation, to be at rest, to be a center of tranquility in the midst of the perturbations of the world around me. To be at peace with myself, to have my thoughts, actions and emotions in harmony and balance. It is the moments of recognizing all that is happening around me, but being aware that I have to do nothing more than notice, no further action on my part is required. This practice has helped me enormously deal with my cravings and the pull of my addiction. It has taught me to be aware of my triggers, to recognize them and to be able to say to my addict “Oh, that’s nice, but I am not interested” and let the thought pass right on by, and then continue on with whatever it was I was doing.

Affirmation I am amazed by the freedom I have gained by increasing my self-awareness. Finding my peace within has enabled me to keep the chaos of addiction away.

September 16

”One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency.” Arnold Glasow

I can certainly see how the idea of this quote also applies to my recovery, especially in how I deal with stress. My method of the past was to bury it, hide from it, stuff it under the rug or run away. Anything and everything to avoid dealing with it. And the problem was that it simply backed up and backed up until there was no room left to hide or run from it and it washed over me in a deluge. All the little things became so huge that it was an emergency. So stress management is a crucial part of my healing process. Being able to deal with situations as they happen, or shortly thereafter, allows me to live without accumulating all the baggage that I used to carry around with me. This increased awareness of how I am feeling, how I am stressing, allows me to confront problems before they grow into emergencies. My addict thrived on stress. So if I tackle nothing else each day but dealing with life events that occur around me, I am more able to keep my craving and pull to my addiction at bay. Living a simpler life and being present throughout the day are great treasures that also protect my serenity and sobriety.

Affirmation Stress happens - it’s a normal part of being human. Running or hiding does not deal with it though, so today I will work through the events that occur, facing forward.