January 19

”Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” George Bernard Shaw

Much of my life has been dominated by me fears. And it is those fears which have held me back, which have been obstacles to allow me to take certain risks in my life. I am afraid of being rejected, of those unwilling to accept me as I am. I am afraid of not being loved or worthy of love. I am afraid of being abandoned, left alone with no one to keep dear and near to my heart. These fears lock me into the present. They bind me to what is comfortable, make me less willing to try something new, to truly listen to my intuition and follow my dreams. These things I am afraid of keep me from striving to reach my full potential. Yet recovery is showing me I am worthy of all that I hope and dream of. It is teaching me that my Higher Powers will is to have all this and more. I am not alone. I am not worthless. I am loved, capable, talented, and beautiful. I can overcome and I will succeed.

Affirmation I will face my fears to make way for the new choices I want to make to start making my own trail in life.

December 18

”Only one may enter here, one whose worth lies far within. A diamond in the rough.” Quote from the movie “Aladdin”

I was walking in the winter snow recently, down a side street where the plows had passed and spread out their sand and salt. Most of the snow was no longer white as a result, but as I watched, the sun came out and to my surprise; the snow still sparkled in its brilliance, even under all the dirt. I found this metaphor quite suitable for my life. I believe that my life has been more like that dirty snow, mixed up with a bunch of things that have not kept me pure or on the right path. Yet, when the sun shines, or better when my purpose is alit by my Higher Power, it reveals that the beauty and potential is still there, even when I didn’t see it. The things I need to succeed in life have already been provided to me, I just have to work with them in spite of all the dirt around me. Recovery is teaching me that I have much worth that has lain far within for far too long. As I shed the skin of my addiction, push away that filth that I attracted for too long, I too, can be a brilliant snowflake to shine in the light of my Creator.

Affirmation My potential to follow the path of the God of my understanding is always there, I just need to be reminded to shine from time to time.

July 17

”May your life be crowded with unexpected joys.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Success still frightens me. This need not be lots of recognition at work or in the community; it can be something as simple as being happy and having life going well. My instinct is to not trust the good times, to be waiting for the storm to roll in, and usually my worries and fears lead me to doing something to jeopardize or sabotage my contentment. I know that much of this thinking and behaviour stems from my shame; the regret from my past that I do not deserve to be happy or have good things in my life because of all the bad things I have done. I am working on my self-esteem and learning that I AM WORTHY of good things. Regaining faith in my Higher Power has helped to restore my belief that He only wants good for me. Just as I can feel overwhelmed when things are very dark, I can feel the same when it is too bright and sunny. Yet I can cope with either situation in the same way – Stop, take a few deep breaths, say the Serenity Prayer and focus on the present moment. I am learning to accept these good highs as a natural part of life and something that I am allowed to experience as part of a healthy and balanced existence.

Affirmation Today I will not be afraid of the good things that happen; I have as much right to be happy and content as anyone.