August 21

”He who is most slow in making a promise is the most faithful in performance of it.” Jean Jacques Rousseau

Sometimes I need to force myself to slow down in order to truly understand where I am and what is happening around me. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life without really taking the time to evaluate my motivation and actions. This certainly applies in how I make promises. They used to be made most blindly, saying yes to everyone for everything because I needed approval, or was afraid to let someone down. I had very weak boundaries, if any at all, in many aspects of my life. Today I am more assertive in my daily dealings. I am aware of my limitations, of my capacity to help others, as well as being cognizant of the need to take care of myself. All this has led me to being more cautious in promising to do things for others, or even myself, and evaluating situations before I commit. And once I do commit, then I am more confident that I will be able to deliver what I agreed to do. I no longer need to be everything to everyone. The only thing that ever did was to lead me to be nothing for no one. I cannot please the entire world, not even a majority of it. So I am learning its ok to pick and choose where I devote myself, that I can say no and let someone else perform what I just don’t have the time for, and the world won’t stop spinning. And even sometimes I can be selfish and keep some time for myself, and put my self-care as a priority.

Affirmation Always acting in the heat of the moment, as I rush to and fro, does not always lead to the best decisions. Today I will slow down and think things through before taking action.

July 21

”People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be.” Harvey Mackay

I am a firm believer that my attitude and approach to life is as important as what I certainly do. So far me I began to be successful in my recovery the moment I decided to be IN recovery. Today, and for some time, I allow myself no other option; being in recovery is where I need to be to maintain my serenity and sobriety. I choose each day to work my program; it has become the norm rather than the exception. In my early recovery I was not quite so committed and, looking back, it is apparent that some days I chose recovery while others I decided to follow my addiction. It took me a few months to realize that I could not stay partially in recovery and continue holding onto pieces of my addiction, just in case. Making the decision to be fully committed to working my program has made the biggest improvement in my recovery. It’s strange to look at my life and see how much it has changed. But the tools of my recovery – prayer, meditation, writing, reading, meetings, all these and more have become a natural part of my life. I owe my serenity, my capacity to cope with life in healthy ways, my reconnection to my feelings and my Higher Power; all this comes from making the 12 Steps a priority in my life.

Affirmation I can chooseto be in recovery today and work my program. All that is asked is to face the next 24 hours trusting in my Higher Power.

June 1

”You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.” Joan Baez

One message from the AA Big Book that still resonates with me is that “half measures availed us nothing.” I remember well that decision point in my early recovery where my resolve was tested. I came to the moment where I had to choose to stop walking on both sides of the fence, trying to hold onto a reserve of my old ways. Making that step and “going for broke” has made the difference in my recovery. It was a big risk, it was scary, yet I have not regretted that decision in the least. The same idea has applied to other areas of my life. It applies to how I view relationships, how connected I am in my work or any number of other things that I do. If I truly want to be open, honest and willing I have to put all my chips in and let the cards fall where they may. When I hold even a little something back and don’t give 100% of my time and energy then I let myself down. The places where I choose to spend my time and energy are important – so I need to treat them that way. If I cannot give my all then maybe I need to rethink just were the activity or relationship fits in my life. The things that truly matter and are meant to be a part of my recovery are worth putting all my effort into.

Affirmation Am I in or am I out? Today I will put everything in to what I do, I deserve to give my best to what is important in my life.