April 18

”I don't wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has to get down to work.” Pearl S. Buck

Ah, procrastination in disguise. I don’t feel like doing such and such. Oh, I will wait until I am in a better mood. I’m too {insert mood} to do that now. Now here’s a middle circle behaviour that I need to be cautious of letting take too much control. I am realizing there are a number of dangers in putting things off. First, it wastes time. For any given thing that I procrastinate, I probably spend 2-3 times more time and energy rationalizing and justifying why I shouldn’t do it right now than it would take me to just get through it. Second, the more I put something aside, the less important it feels and the less inclined I am to do the next time I remember that it needs to be done. Lastly, it affects my attitude in a negative way about other things I need to do, it becomes a trend to “do it tomorrow” when tomorrow never comes. I know I have a pile of round tuits – somewhere. Work is work, and there usually no getting around it. To get something done, I am going to have to spend the time and put the effort into it, whether or not I like it. So isn’t it so much better for me to grin and bear it, or force myself to like doing it (even a little)? The reward could simply be to have more time to do something that I will enjoy. That’s a pretty good reason to tell the truth.

Affirmation

My mood, like my attitude, can be an obstacle to progress. I will reflect on where my mood is as I navigate through today.

September 19

”I have no Yesterdays, Time took them away. Tomorrow may not be but I have Today.” Pear Yeardon McGinnis

I used to think I had all the time in the world. Tomorrow I could fill up, and the next week, month, or year with activity and planning. It has taken a significant amount of recovery to realize that all I really have is Today, and even harder to come to terms with is knowing all that I really have is right now. I cannot get back Yesterday or anything that has happened in the past. The moment is gone, lost forever. I can choose to allow it to shape who I am and where I go from there. Regret, anger, and resentment about what has been only distract me from being in the present. The Future is little better. I can worry, but effort into my fears of what may be, yet here too I remove myself from right now. My power in just being, in gaining the awareness of who I truly am, of opening myself to the will of something greater than myself, grants me the freedom to choose how to live each moment. I can squander it on negative thoughts and emotions or parts of my addictive nature, or I can choose life in recovery – to be healthy, clean, sober and sane. Each moment of serenity restores a part of my true self and gives me the ability to serve the purpose of my Higher Power.

Affirmation My focus is to be in the moment, the past is beyond my control and the future may never come to pass. I will do the most I can right now.

August 18

”And if we are to be any better, now is the time to begin.” Lord Alfred Tennyson

My recovery can wait. I can go to the next meeting. I can call someone, tomorrow. I can read the green book, later. These are all choices that I can make. There are consequences to postponing working my program though. My addiction is ever-present and has no qualms about filling time that I decide not to use more constructively. Before I know it I can lose an hour, or two, or the better part of a day succumbing to my obsessive and compulsive behaviours. As I gain sobriety I am learning to be aware of this pattern. When I start putting things off, not only recovery work, but day-to-day tasks, it is easy for me to look back in retrospect at how easily my addictive side slides into place to direct my actions. This slippery slope can be avoided by saying to me, “Well I don’t really feel like doing X right now, but the alternative is to open myself up to middle or inner circle behaviours.” Being consciously aware of the consequence of inaction is usually enough motivation to push me to do whatever it is that I was procrastinating about getting done. The time for action is right now and it will keep me grounded in the present.

Affirmation I will be wary of being pulled towards inaction; it can be a warning sign that my addictive behaviour is taking control.

July 15

”Putting off an easy thing makes it hard, and putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” George Lorimer

This quote has been staring at me from a blank page for a few days, and each time I have looked at it I have drawn a blank as to what to write in the space below. I finally decided to just start writing something and trust that it will take me somewhere. I guess there are times in my life where that is how I feel, not knowing what to do to take the next step forward, so I just keep pacing side to side. I need to take that courageous first step into the unknown and trust in my Higher Power that it falls upon the right path. I also see how this message applies to others in my life, how avoiding dealing with something early when it is small always tends to turn them into something much larger and more difficult to handle. I am certainly just as guilty in my own life. Part of my work in recovery is to stop putting things off and taking the time to do them as soon as I can.  That way not only do I accomplish something that I needed to do, I also remove something that I will worry about and carry forward into tomorrow. So for at least 2 good reasons, acting now has liberated me to have room to do more and to stay focused in the present.

Affirmation I will be aware of my procrastination today and do those things I would rather put off…I will be better off for having done them now.

June 14

”Don’t save anything for a special occasion, being alive is the special occasion.” Anonymous

I believe in waking up with a smile on my face, and in facing each day with the enthusiasm of the opportunities that lay before me. My life in recovery has been something that I more often look forward to.  The tools and skills that I continue to gain as I work the Twelve Steps give me the confidence that I can face the challenges of each day. I am learning to be more spontaneous and to procrastinate less. I take the time needed as things occur to me to do them and act rather than trying to wait for the perfect moment. This holds for telling someone I love them to even more basic things like a chore or a to-do that I keep putting off. There’s less of a need to wait until tomorrow, making the time now to get things done makes me feel better and leaves less for me to worry about. Life’s little moments are what keep us going. It’s not that special occasions are not important; birthdays, anniversaries and holidays all have their place. But if we are not making all the little efforts to do the important tasks and spend time with the people who matter to us, celebrating only on special occasions won’t cut it.

Affirmation Today I will look for the little ways to keep life special and to let those who are important in my life know how I feel.

May 6

”Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.” Henry David Thoreau

One of my favorite quotes from my work is that the first 90% of a project will take 90% of the time, and the remaining 10% will take the other 90% of the time. For me the reason for the reality of this (maybe not quite to the same extreme) is getting into the details. It can be difficult sometimes to not plan to the minute detail. As someone who has trouble with procrastination, making sure every detail is there, well-defined, planned, accounted for, double-checked…these are all ways to prolong actually doing something. Part of learning to let go in my recovery also means learning to be comfortable with things that are “good enough.” Instead of trying to get something to 100%, I have to be content that maybe 80-85% is sufficient and will do the job. Sometimes it’s more important to get something mostly done than trying to get it perfect the first time. It is important that there may be an opportunity to make improvements later. The same goes for my recovery. I don’t need to give a perfect first step, practice perfect abstinence from my middle and inner circles. Sometimes efforts in the right direction are enough to keep me moving in the right direction and enough to keep me moving along my path to a better and saner life.

Affirmation Today I will focus on doing rather than getting things perfect. I will accept things that are “good enough.”

April 29

”If you spend too much time warming up, you’ll miss the race. If you don’t warm up at all, you may not finish the race.” Grand Heindrich

I heard a story once about a person in recovery who was having a hard time with procrastination, especially in terms of picking up some tools of recovery. A counsellor suggested that this individual go to the local sports store, buy a “Just Do It” t-shirt and wear it every day for a week. The person was to simply look in the mirror, see the slogan, and find the stimulation to work a bit of their program. I won’t deny that it is often hard for me to stick to my routine. I am learning through my work in Step Three that my blocks to working on improving my spiritual health are the same excuses that I use when I don’t want to exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, or any of the other things that maintain and improve my physical condition. Imagining my spiritual centre or soul as a physical entity helps me to see that I need to put work into its upkeep and to strengthen it. Reading spiritual material, prayer. Meditation – all these are “exercises” to improve my spiritual “body” and are just as important as how I treat my physical body.

Affirmation I will make time to focus on my spiritual health today and look at establishing healthy activities into my daily routine.

April 1

”Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” George Carlin

Mr. Carlin has an interesting perspective on procrastination. In fact I think I would take his idea a step further. Procrastination is not only keeping up with yesterday but planning to carry yesterday into tomorrow. It is our way of ensuring that we do not have the time, effort or energy to be present in today. The thing I am learning about my own procrastination is that the more I put things off, the more time and effort I believe they will take. This of course becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy where I perceive the simplest things as being more complicated and difficult than they really are. And, proportionately, my desire to do them decreases. So when I do a few things that I have waited days or even weeks to do, I am usually surprised about how simple they were and how little time and effort they actually required. The end result - my perceptions have deceived me and my continued procrastination has allowed me to make a mountain out of a molehill. As I continue to force myself to do a few things rather than putting them off, I can find enough time to scratch a few things off my perpetual To-Do list and it is becoming easier to do so.

Affirmation I will tackle a couple items from my To-Do list; there’s no time like the present.

March 8

”Never forget the powerful resources you always have available to you – love, prayer and forgiveness.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

How many times have we said to ourselves, “As soon as this thing happens I will stop acting out” or “If only so and so could leave me alone” or any number of other reasons that are external to us? In recovery we learn that our change has come from within. Those situations and people external to us are something we can neither control nor change. Our recovery happens as we discover the love, forgiveness and happiness within ourselves. In turning to prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding, we open ourselves to doing His will and letting go. When we relinquish control, especially over those situations and people whom we cannot control, we gain the freedom to be ourselves and to move in a more positive direction.

Affirmation Today I thank God as I understand Him for the gifts of love, prayer, forgiveness and understanding.

February 7

”Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” Lou Holtz

We all have mornings where we wake up and would simply prefer to roll over and go back to sleep. As an addict in recovery, we often feel the same way about working our program; it can wait until tomorrow. In recovery there is often a cost to our procrastination. For many of us avoiding active work in our steps and group leads to middle circle behaviours or even inner circle activity. We have learned through our own experience and from those of our fellow members that procrastination all too often leads to poor choices for our recovery. It’s important for us to work recovery tools into our daily lives. From reading literature, meditation, exercise, reaching out to our sponsor or a group member, or attending a meeting, all these small acts renew our commitment and keep us on the path to maintaining our sanity.

Affirmation Today I will make the time for recovery because I am worth it.