August 18

”And if we are to be any better, now is the time to begin.” Lord Alfred Tennyson

My recovery can wait. I can go to the next meeting. I can call someone, tomorrow. I can read the green book, later. These are all choices that I can make. There are consequences to postponing working my program though. My addiction is ever-present and has no qualms about filling time that I decide not to use more constructively. Before I know it I can lose an hour, or two, or the better part of a day succumbing to my obsessive and compulsive behaviours. As I gain sobriety I am learning to be aware of this pattern. When I start putting things off, not only recovery work, but day-to-day tasks, it is easy for me to look back in retrospect at how easily my addictive side slides into place to direct my actions. This slippery slope can be avoided by saying to me, “Well I don’t really feel like doing X right now, but the alternative is to open myself up to middle or inner circle behaviours.” Being consciously aware of the consequence of inaction is usually enough motivation to push me to do whatever it is that I was procrastinating about getting done. The time for action is right now and it will keep me grounded in the present.

Affirmation I will be wary of being pulled towards inaction; it can be a warning sign that my addictive behaviour is taking control.