August 26

”Why are we surprised when fig trees bear figs.” Margaret Titzel

Being in recovery is both a blessing and a curse. It’s been a blessing because it has shown me the depths of my own sickness and that awareness has motivated me to change my behaviours. It’s a curse because the awareness has also shown me how others in my life have been contaminated by my illness. This is not always a good thing because others are not always open to admitting they are sick as well and need help. I cannot force anyone to seek help for the damage I have caused by bringing my addiction into their lives. This negative side of my awareness leads me too often to expecting to react as though they have the knowledge I am gaining in my recovery. The problem is, many of them are doing little to change their coping mechanisms, so it should not be a surprise when they continue to act as if I am sick, or just in their own unhealthy ways. Yet is takes me aback more often than not. I need to be careful in setting unrealistic expectations in my relations with others. It is me that is in recovery; I am working a program; I am getting help and walking a new path. I can encourage others to do so, but until they make that choice for themselves, they are not likely to treat me any differently nor change their own behaviours. This is something I need to be prepared for and to live through.

Affirmation I will be aware that I am not expecting too much of others and to remember that my recovery changes me first.