August 12

”Faith and doubt both are needed – not as antagonists, but working side by side – to take us around the unknown curve.” Lillian Smith

Faith in my Higher Power, in myself, in my support network – all these help me to push forward and to face new challenges. Yet on the same hand doubt can force me to keep hold of the reins, to not charge blindly ahead but to proceed with some caution and well-reasoned intent. In this aspect I quite agree that they work hand-in-hand to help me seek the unknown in a more controlled and deliberate fashion. Recklessness and chaos were characteristics of my addiction. Acting with no regard for the consequences, simply succumbing to the lure of the promised “high” at the end of the journey was all that mattered. No consideration was given for the aftermath. Nor was there any worry about those I may hurt along the way, including myself, to reach the goal of my obsession. My goals today have returned to have a valuable meaning. Just as important, if not more so, are all the steps that I must take to reach the summit. They now need to be steps of integrity, honesty, respect and responsibility, for no longer does the end justified by the means. I need to be my authentic, recovering self each step of the way.

Affirmation I am returning balance to my life and acting more in ways that are congruent with my values and ethics.