January 28

”Keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs.” William Howard Stern

Too many times in my life I feel disappointed, like I have been robbed of something I deserved or that life is just out to get me. This is usually a sign that my expectations of the world are too high, that I am seeking something that is beyond what I should want, and certainly that I am aspiring for things that surpass my needs. As I grow spiritually, I am learning that my true needs are few, and that if I content myself with them, they are easily achievable and something that my Higher Power will never leave me without. My expectations are most easily satisfied if I seek to satisfy the will of the power greater than me that will restore me to sanity. Life is more fulfilling when I focus on how I can be of service to others rather than being obsessed with my own need for wealth and gain. When my perspective changes from what I think the world owes me to one of trying to find how much more I can share, then happiness awaits me at every turn. Where I can put my strength without fear of giving too much is in hope, in hoping for unconditional love, peace, and serenity. My trust in God comes with the belief that with Him anything is possible. I need to remain open and willing to listen to His Good Orderly Direction.

Affirmation Perspective is key to seeking balance in my life and giving things their proper priority. Putting First Things First will allow me to find contentment with all that I already have.

January 4

”Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can.” Willis Whitney

Living in recovery gives me the liberty to take new risks. Whereas in the past risk-taking was only related to seeking sexual satisfaction, nowadays it is related to seeking out my dreams and desires – for a new job, a new place to live, new friendships – all healthy aspirations. However my challenge is to overcome my addict’s built-in self-defence mechanism of making excuses. This was how I tricked myself into believing I didn’t deserve anything better, of how unworthy I was, etc. This self-belittlement kept me weak, guilty and ashamed – a perfect candidate to continue acting out to try and feel better and to escape the pain. Turning all this around has been simpler than I thought. The barrier to my aspirations in most cases has been paper thin, a single step of courage has often proved all that was necessary to break free of the lies of my addict that were keeping me prisoner. Life has so much more variety and I can ask my Higher Power for the strength and courage to take those risks to move in a different direction. One reason, one supporting comment from a friend, can propel me a great distance along the healthy path of recovery and self-discovery.

Affirmation My fears often have more power than they deserve, and only serve to keep me a slave to my addiction. An act of courage can push them aside and give me freedom to realize my real dreams.