February 5

”Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.’” Luke 9:23

My religious background always led me to believe that the cross I had to carry was a burden, a punishment of sorts that was simply part of my life on Earth. It’s probably one of the many reasons that I turned away from the formal institution in my adolescence, that and the sense I had at the time of being brain-washed in ritual. My spirituality has matured a great deal in my recovery. While there is a God, of my understanding, that I value as my Higher Power, it is no longer the same figure I was raised to believe in. This transformation has also started to give me new insight into the cross I bear. I no longer see it as a burden, but as a tool. Perhaps seeing it as a yoke is more appropriate for me in my life today. A yoke gives the impression of work. Now I see all that I carry with me not as something to weigh me down, but as the experience, strength, hope and wisdom I have gained in this world which I can share with others. With this change of perspective also comes a change of attitude. Rather than dreading each day, and the burden I must carry forward, I can start my day joyously glad of all the opportunities that lay before me to share my gifts with others in need.

Affirmation As I strengthen my connection to my Higher Power, I will find strength and hope in places where there used to be only darkness and despair.