October 8

”He who closes his ears to the views of others shows little confidence in the integrity of his own views.” William Congreve

Recovery has taught me that I need to ask for help and that I can benefit by listening to the opinions and advice of others. These are not things that come naturally to me. I grew up being very independent, always taking care of myself, only really ever relying on myself. Somewhere along the way I bought into the idea that asking for help meant I was weak or less than. Life was my own struggle and I had to figure out how to get there by myself. Some of that faulty belief system also trickled into the thought that I was always right, or had to be right. I can see now how for many years I was pretty close-minded. I also see how that attitude was a cover for the fact that I was not all that confident in my own beliefs. Dazzle them with intellect or baffle them with BS as the saying goes. Hmm, just more uncovering of the parts of my former personality. My addiction had a far reaching impact on all aspects of my life. It manipulated lessons taught in life, promoting those that would serve its own purpose, like believing I had to go it alone. Recovery has helped me rediscovery the power of fellowship and community. These are both great gifts that have been a boon to my efforts in turning the page and starting down the better road. There is strength in numbers, and I benefit from the experience, strength and hope of all I meet.

Affirmation

Challenging my childhood beliefs is a necessary step in weeding out those which are false and no longer serve to guide me as an adult.