November 18

”Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” Malcom S. Forbes

I am grateful for the Step work that I have done so far. I found the approach that I used was a great tool which focused on balance and that gave equal weight to looking at the negative aspects of my past as well as the positive. The bad stuff was easy to find, there was an ample supply. The good parts were more challenging to find, but these were key components to help me in my recovery. Through these existing and recognizable strengths I was able to focus on parts of me, where I was at in the present, that were wholesome and good, and that became the foundation of redefining who I was as a person. In many ways, through those initial weeks and months of recovery, I overvalued what I thought I was – all those ugly parts that I associated with my addict. I undervalued what had been hidden or pushed aside as a result, or the character traits that I thought were only part of the façade, the public face to the world, which were still (and are) assets and things to be proud of. There was a great deal of soul searching while I worked through sorting out the kind of person I thought I was. I uncovered some strange things. I began to notice how many of my strengths had been subverted to support my addiction rather than healthier choices. Some obvious examples were my ability to write, my concern for others, and my ability to focus on the task at hand. All these are tools, and like any tool, they are not in themselves good or bad, but can be made so by how they are put to use. This awareness gave me building blocks to re-use solid parts of me for my recovery and to give them positive value.

Affirmation

The courage of Step One is the willingness to delve into myself and rediscover who I am. This is the beginning of a journey worth taking.