May 8

”Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.” Henry Vandyke

I am often overwhelmed by the number of resources and tools that are available to me in recovery. It can be daunting wondering trying to determine which are the best, which will work the fastest, require the least effort or will produce the most desired result. One thing that I used to overlook are those that match my own abilities and potential. Just like my talents help me in my day-to-day life, so too will they help in finding the tools that fit best into my recovery. The 12 Steps are general and remain that way as they are open, not so much to interpretation as they are designed to give freedom in how we individually incorporate them into our lives. Our strengths help us normally and it would be foolish to ignore them when working our program. The other side is not to be overly concerned that the path we choose or the tools we use are not the same as those used by others in our fellowship. Whatever works for us is fine, we are unique and have the right to do things differently. What we share and offer may be useful to someone else who has been struggling to find a tool that matches their own personality. This is one of the greatest strengths our program has to offer.

Affirmation My recovery is my own and by corollary so are the tools that will work best. I can be confident that as long as I am working my program I will continue to make progress.

May 7

”Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.” Henry Kaiser

Lately I have become grateful for adversity. I have gained enough serenity and sobriety that I have been able to weather several challenging storms in my recovery, a number of which have had little to do with my addiction but were simply life events. I have not done this on my own, by any stretch of the imagination. I has required a great reliance on my Higher Power and my support network, my fellowship, family and friends. The part I am grateful for is that I am coming to more readily accept the need to surrender in situations where I have little control and to reach out for help. I have jokingly shared with others that I have been able to establish an emergency hotline to my Higher Power. Yet this is a good thing as it shows how I have strengthened my faith. While I have still had many pulls to fall back into my old ways in these times of stress, they have only lasted moments. Through the grace of God, I have had the ability to choose to pick up a tool of recovery or to reach out to multiple people in my fellowship. I am learning to trust and express my feelings instead of bottling them inside me. I shared at a meeting that I feel I have no choice but to continue picking up tools of recovery. One member reminded me that the choice is always there. It humbled me, and at the same time strengthened me to see that I can do things differently by trusting in my Higher Power and the program. Life can be sane even it times of chaos.

Affirmation I will seek opportunity in adversity; challenges are times for me practice what I preach in recovery.

May 6

”Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.” Henry David Thoreau

One of my favorite quotes from my work is that the first 90% of a project will take 90% of the time, and the remaining 10% will take the other 90% of the time. For me the reason for the reality of this (maybe not quite to the same extreme) is getting into the details. It can be difficult sometimes to not plan to the minute detail. As someone who has trouble with procrastination, making sure every detail is there, well-defined, planned, accounted for, double-checked…these are all ways to prolong actually doing something. Part of learning to let go in my recovery also means learning to be comfortable with things that are “good enough.” Instead of trying to get something to 100%, I have to be content that maybe 80-85% is sufficient and will do the job. Sometimes it’s more important to get something mostly done than trying to get it perfect the first time. It is important that there may be an opportunity to make improvements later. The same goes for my recovery. I don’t need to give a perfect first step, practice perfect abstinence from my middle and inner circles. Sometimes efforts in the right direction are enough to keep me moving in the right direction and enough to keep me moving along my path to a better and saner life.

Affirmation Today I will focus on doing rather than getting things perfect. I will accept things that are “good enough.”