August 17

”Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” Alexander Graham Bell

Being in recovery requires concentration. This is a new way of living, and in many respects it is quite different from how I lived my life for many years. Therefore it does not come naturally or instinctively to recognize my feelings, to notice triggers, or to stay focused on the present moment. The best I can equate it to is learning a new language, that my head needs to learn to think “in recovery”, that I need to grasp the grammar of the steps so that I can act in ways that support my program. This is no easy task. And it was hardest in the beginning, when everything was new. Yet it has eased over time, gradually I have been able to form new habits, make tools and behaviours feel more normal. But I can still remember those initial moments when most things felt awkward and forced. But that is because they were. Changing fundamental parts of me is not pleasant, it goes against the normal of how things have always been. This is not something I managed to do totally of my own accord. I needed a support network, others in recovery, friends and family, to help encourage me to continue down this new path. The unfamiliar territory was a little scary at first, but I knew the old path was even worse. The risk has been worth it, even though the discomfort was there. Discomfort for me now means change, and change has been a positive in my life in recent years. I am slowly shedding the skin of my addiction and letting my true colours come to light. It’s an effort of concentration and focus well worth the pursuit.

Affirmation

Recovery is a learning experience. It requires my time, energy and dedication to become an integral part of me, but the reward is well worth my efforts.