March 3

”Life is a cup to be filled not drained.” Anonymous

Acceptance of the good things in life is not something that comes easy. After years of putting myself down, of telling myself that I was worth nothing, that nothing good was ever meant to happen to me, it’s challenging to receive happiness and prosperity into my world. Yet this is what I always wanted and what I felt I deserved. My poor self-esteem is a fundamental part of this process. I am gradually rebuilding, slowly coming to accept that my view of myself has to start within. So on those days when I like who I see in the mirror, when I am able to recognize and congratulate myself on my achievements, these are steps towards loving myself once again. I take heart in the fact that I am surrounding myself with others who care about me. It is a comfort to know that I can be loved as I am. Certainly, if others are willing to take that step, I have to be able to do likewise and be proud to be who I am, and accept gratitude and reward as something I deserve because I do deserve it. It’s time for me to focus on filling my cup.

Affirmation I am worthy of recognition, acceptance, friendship, respect and love. First and foremost from myself, and certainly as well from others.

March 2

”Every winner has scars.” Robert N. C. Nix

Life events leave their traces on us. Some are good side effects that nourish and encourage us. Others are cuts, bruises, or worse that can diminish and hurt us. Some leave only superficial marks that wash away with a little bit of time. Others run deep and engrain themselves into a core part of our person. I can look at any or all of these and rationalize them to motivate me to be a better person, or on the contrary, to let them hold me prisoner, a victim of coincidence or fate. Life is what I am here to experience. If I want to live a fulfilling life, then I have to accept that it is a full contact sport. To be fully engaged means that I risk getting hurt along the way. I think those risks are worth taking. My time here is limited, and I want to experience as much of life as I can. I would like to have more good experiences than bad, but most of that is not there for me to decide. So I will look forward to all that fate has to offer as an opportunity, and leap at the chance to live 110%.

Affirmation In risking to live, I risk getting hurt. But not risking anything, is only existing. I choose life.

March 1

”Ego has a voracious appetite, the more you feed it, the hungrier it gets.” Nathaniel Bronner Jr.

Hmm, I can relate a little to appetite, my addiction certainly has one. And it was an appetite that tended to have no end, a bottomless pit that was never satisfied. And based on the number of years I was in it, I would certainly agree that it got hungrier and hungrier over time. What I needed to consume to satisfy the craving had to get bigger, riskier, or simply more. My recovery had to look at ways to starve my addiction, to take away all the food and attention I was giving to it. Some of that work was fairly easy, but it only took me so far in helping to push away my cravings. Eventually I realized that my addiction was covering up a deeper need. And that need was my spirituality that had been covered, ignore, and displaced for too many years. The best way for me to defeat my addiction was to find the ways to nourish my soul. This is where focusing on my outer circle became crucial. Making new habits, focusing on all the healthy ways to take care of myself is what worked to diminish my dependence on my addiction.

Affirmation The choices I make can feed my recovery, or feed my addiction. I will pray for the guidance of the God of my understanding to make the right decisions.