June 3

”There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” John Andrew Holmes

I joined SAA because I needed help. I was grateful to have found a place of support, compassion and understanding. I feel lucky to have found people who have shared their experience, strength and hope, who have encouraged me and who have also told me straight out how they see me and what I have done or not done. These are just some of the gifts I have received from the program so far. Now that I am somewhat more experienced I am encountering a different aspect in the fellowship. It happens more frequently that someone seeks me out for support, or that I am that extra listening ear after a meeting, or that I find myself in the position to tell things as I see them. I always try to be humble and gentle in these moments, remembering all too well what it felt like being in the other member’s place. It is part of my responsibility to actively help others when I am capable of doing so. I still learn as much, if not more, from listening to others as I do in sharing my own experience. It feels good to do service and give back to the program in this fundamental way.

Affirmation I will remember how I felt when I asked for support when others need to lean on me. Being humble and gentle are important attitudes to retain.

June 2

”Man must strive and, in striving, must go wrong.” Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

The error of my ways is an opportunity. Each time I fail, each mistake I make, is a chance to learn, to adapt, to improve or to grow. If I am not making mistakes, I am only doing what is comfortable, what is known, and what is safe. Some might say this is not really living, only existing from one day to the next. To strive to do something better, to desire to do something new, different or exciting means taking a risk. It requires not only that I open myself up to failure, but if I am being realistic, accepting that in all likelihood I will fail to some degree as I learn. This is simply a part of the learning process, we make mistakes until we get it all put together the right way. My life has been a series of failures and successes. The difference is that the successes were achieved because of my perseverance of continuing to try after the numerous unsuccessful attempts at succeed. It was picking up a way to improve, get back in the saddle, and try again. The only true failures are the times when I stopped trying.

Affirmation I can strive to learn from my failures today and see them as a learning step in achieving success.

June 1

”You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.” Joan Baez

One message from the AA Big Book that still resonates with me is that “half measures availed us nothing.” I remember well that decision point in my early recovery where my resolve was tested. I came to the moment where I had to choose to stop walking on both sides of the fence, trying to hold onto a reserve of my old ways. Making that step and “going for broke” has made the difference in my recovery. It was a big risk, it was scary, yet I have not regretted that decision in the least. The same idea has applied to other areas of my life. It applies to how I view relationships, how connected I am in my work or any number of other things that I do. If I truly want to be open, honest and willing I have to put all my chips in and let the cards fall where they may. When I hold even a little something back and don’t give 100% of my time and energy then I let myself down. The places where I choose to spend my time and energy are important – so I need to treat them that way. If I cannot give my all then maybe I need to rethink just were the activity or relationship fits in my life. The things that truly matter and are meant to be a part of my recovery are worth putting all my effort into.

Affirmation Am I in or am I out? Today I will put everything in to what I do, I deserve to give my best to what is important in my life.