January 17

”Wisdom begins with the sacrifice of immediate pleasure for long-range purposes.” Louis Finkelstein

There’s the truth of my addiction, all neatly wrapped up into one simple quote. Its goal is not wisdom, but chaos, as its focus is not on the long-term, but only the immediate pleasure. If this is what consumes me, then I will not succeed in achieving purposeful goals. My decisions will not be made to support a healthy path in life with great accomplishment. Rather, I will simply continue to exist between my periods of acting out and preparing to act out, driven by the guilt and shame that fuels the darkness within. Sacrifice, this is a pretty harsh, brutal word. Yet I must sacrifice the instant gratification if I hope to find serenity and sobriety. If I don’t, then I will continue to sacrifice myself to my compulsive and unmanageable desires. The sacrifice to my addiction is a fatal path, of this I am certain. Sacrificing my addict, however, is liberation and an opportunity for a new life. I am grateful that I have found SAA and the 12-Steps to help me begin making the sacrifice of surrendering my will and letting go of those immediate urges and cravings. It is neither easy nor obvious, but it’s a necessity for my own preservation.

Affirmation I will seek my Higher Power in help me resist the immediate temptations, to ride out the wave of craving to the calmness that will follow.