February 23

”It is strange that those we miss the most are those we take for granted.” Sir John Betjeman

This is one area that I am working on not repeating in my life. It was in taking those closest to me for granted that I was able to so deeply fall into my addiction and ignore the best things in my life. And this lack of attention led to me losing some of the people that I cared deeply about. I know I used to escape my feelings of loss, abandon and rejection. I didn’t want to feel like I was missing people that were important to me, and I sought refuge in my acting out. It’s hard looking back, knowing that this behaviour is w.hat ultimately caused me to lose the people I didn’t want to miss. So recovery is teaching me to experience my feelings. The simple fact that I miss someone doesn’t mean than they are rejecting or abandoning me. It is a sign of them caring for me, and also of how much they mean to me. These are good things, and good reminders that it is great for me to have intimate relationships. I know much better what I risk losing by taking others for granted

Affirmation The one thing I cannot afford to take for granted is the fact that I am today, like yesterday and tomorrow, an addict. Remembering this allows me to focus on being in recovery.