May 27

”It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character.” Dale E. Turner

The subject of amend is a challenging one for me. I am certainly cognisant of the infinite wisdom of the steps, especially those two words “wherever possible” of the 9th. There are a few, but significant, people from my life where amends may never be possible. That is a hard thing for me to accept as there is a part of me that truly wants those people to know how much I have changed and to make an attempt to repair the damage I caused. Yet these are also people who are least likely to trust me because of how they have been hurt. So I have to content myself today in being a living amends. In working my program I continue the promise to myself, my Higher Power and the world that I will no longer be the person I was. Having spent many years in those destructive patterns, I have no desire to return to my old ways. In living by these new standards I may not repair all the damage I have done. But taking steps to stop creating new destruction, to stop hurting others, is a positive use of my time and recovery. My service work is also another place where I can give back to society and use my energy to help others, and to improve my community. These are all worthy efforts to be a better human being.

Affirmation

I will trust in my Higher Power that I will make the amends that I need when it is the right time. Just for today I will remain willing to do what needs to be done to repair the past.