November 26

”Gossip and anger are like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” Anonymous

I think I can relate guilt and shame into a similar context from my past. Guilt and shame were the poisons that I used, and that I expected would excuse me from my behaviours by making everything someone else’s fault. It gave me the 1001 excuses to write off my poor choices and actions. I have found a cure, and it was the 12-Steps that brought it to my attention. The answer – no more secrets. Honesty is the key to my recovery. My addiction thrives in the darkness, and flounders in the light of the truth. Only through rigorous honesty, first and foremost with myself, do I have a chance of regaining sanity and a life that is worth living. I choose to avoid poisoning myself. Honesty allows me to admit my mistakes, to ask for forgiveness, and to seek to make true amends for the hurt and damage I have caused. I know too well that holding on to the guilt and shame, nurturing them and helping them grow, was a path to my own destruction. The truth is building a new road to the future, even if it needs to be lain one brick at a time.

Affirmation I need to let go of the weights of the past, the guilt and the shame, that held me captive in my addiction. Honesty is the breath of fresh air that will lead me from my prison.