September 3

”Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” Mark Twain

Entitlement has often been a reason for my addict to seek out pleasure. So and so did something to hurt me so I deserve to act out. Things have gone well in this part of my life, so I can give in to this fantasy. I have done so well in my recovery, so this behaviour is a well-deserved reward. As an active addict I became quite adept at turning almost any situation into a reason to act out, or at the very least to continue fantasizing and planning to do so. I was certain that somehow I had earned the right to continue, that everything that was wrong with my life – all caused by others mind you – was more than ample justification to keep up my destructive behaviours. The problem with this attitude is that I take no responsibility for my actions. Everything is everyone’s fault but my own and it is all “poor me, such a hard life, it’s a wonder one can cope with all that stress and hardship.” Being in recovery has made me realize just how delusional my thinking was.

Affirmation It’s true that there’s very little that is owed to me…I need to take responsibility for what I need and stop the blame game to promote my addictive behaviours.