May 1

”One drop of water helps to swell the ocean; a spark of fire helps to give light to the world. None are too small, too poor to be of service. Think of this and act.” Hannah More

It is very true in my own recovery that I take a small step forward each time I use a tool of recovery or reach out for support. All those individual acts add to the overall direction of my recovery. I need not bite off large chunks of my problems in one sitting, but I can be content to work slowly, rebuilding my inner self brick by brick. Unfortunately, I am also realizing that the flip side is equally true. When I allow myself to entertain middle circle thoughts and behaviours, I give momentum to my addiction. Just like rolling a small snowball from the top of a steep hill, each time I go into my old patterns of thinking, my snowball rolls further down the hill and increases in size. I do not want to let it make it all the way down the slope and become a huge snow boulder. If I drop the ball in working my recovery, I need to ask for the strength and courage to jump right back on track. The longer I let myself roll downhill, the bigger the snowball that I have to get around and the more of the hill that I have to climb to get back to where I was. I would rather start that ascent sooner than later...and save my self the pain and effort of that trek.

Affirmation I will be aware of the small acts that affect my recovery, but also be wary of those that can lead me in the opposite direction.