October 6

”Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” Isaac Asimov

Violence takes many forms. I am learning to recognize many different ways it manifests. Men’s violence tends to be direct and physical. Women’s violence is often more subtle, taking the form of emotional or psychological attacks. Each is damaging in its own way, and the victim needs to find ways to cope, escape from the cycle, and heal. As I work on my 8th Step, I am recognizing the many ways that I have hurt others, directly or indirectly, as a result of living in addiction. From neglect and a lack of respect, to more blatant avenues like stealing, lying, and infidelity, the range of my actions are wide and varied. I don’t need to be ready to make amends at this point, simply open to the eventual possibility. As a fellow member put it, my amends are not so much about apologies…my words have little meaning to most people in any event, but are about what I am changing so as not to repeat my mistakes of the past. Living in recovery is likely the best amend I can make for most of the people on my list, myself included, and other methods will present themselves, as Step 9 promises, wherever possible.

Affirmation I can take responsibility for my past actions and open myself to changes that will amend my former behaviours.