January 26

”Look far, and see the end from the beginning.” Chinese Proverb

Recovery has taught me the value of living in the present, of letting go of the past that I can no longer change or influence and shopping all my worrying about the future. What matters is where I am right here, right now and how I choose to live and be in this very moment. Another aspect of time and looking ahead certainly comes from those moments when I am triggered. Learning how to “play the tape to the end”, to realize where my initial thoughts and actions are destined to lead me, what the ultimate action and behaviours will be, who I will hurt in the process and how I will feel about the outcome and myself afterwards as I try to escape or avoid whatever problem I am facing has greatly helped reduce my desire to act out or feed my addiction in any way. Seeing the end when I have only let that first droplet fall into the pond provides me with insight to see the ripple effect and how it is likely to damage my serenity and produce other negative effects. Early prevention and intervention saves me for a lot of headaches further down the line if I continue along with my addictive patterns.

Affirmation I am grateful for my increased awareness that can help me to take a different direction earlier and earlier in those times when I find myself triggered.