June 5

”The important thing is to learn every time you lose.” John McEnroe

It seems to me that modern society has become focused on “not losing.” I see it mostly in how my children are treated at school and in sports. Nobody fails, we no longer keep score, and everybody is a “winner” for having participated. I’m not convinced this is the best way. Winning can be a motivator, but more importantly I think there is value in losing. If it is handled properly it is a way to evaluate performance, find areas to work and improve and is motivation to do better next time. While we struggle to keep things fair for everyone, it is not truly reality. Some people are just naturally better than others or have the drive to succeed – in sports, in school, in music or whatever the individual’s talents or goals may be. In trying to even out the playing field I am not sure that everyone, if anyone, really benefits. In my own life I certainly am learning to value losing, or simply failing. Not getting the results I want gives me a chance to do a few things. First, it can be a reality check to see if the avenue I have been pursuing is really where I want to go. It also provides the opportunity to look back at my strengths and weaknesses to determine what I can do better next time. Losing doesn’t have to be as negative as society wants us to believe.

Affirmation I will look for the lessons I can learn from my losses today; reflection and evaluation can help me find a better way ahead.