June 8

”Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.” Abraham Lincoln

I don’t know that I am always tactful in dealing with others, especially those close to me. I don’t think I can express my feelings in such a way as to show others how they see themselves. But then again how I express my feelings is not about others but about how I am doing. I have every right to let someone know how their words and actions affect me, but there are ways to do it which are better than others. My preferred method, even though it still feels strange, follows a simply format. It starts by specifically naming the action or incident that affected me, followed by my emotions in reactions, and concludes with what I need as a result. Many times what I need is simply to let the other person know how I am feeling. Sometimes what they are doing bothers me and I need the action or the way they are speaking to simply stop. This technique, though it focuses on me, is meant to be a gift of awareness to the other person. Whether or not they choose to accept it, open it and do something with it is another matter. I keep my feelings to myself less and less often. I rarely find myself burying them in the holes of the place where they can fester and grow. I am maturing emotionally and trying to deal with life’s situations as they happen

Affirmation Today I will be conscious of how I express myself and work at keep the focus on how I feel and what I need to be safe.