November 15

”There’s always failure. And there’s always disappointment. And there’s always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.” Michael J. Fox

Loss is not a vacuum – that thought does indeed match my own experience. During the process of experiencing any significant loss, while I grieve, I know that loss has indeed felt like a hole that I wouldn’t climb out from. But I have always come out the other side, and the time it has taken me to make the climb seems to depend on how quickly I let myself fully experience the loss and learn from it. The program tells us that pain is a teacher. Maybe not a very pleasant one, but a teacher nonetheless. For me, it has become clear that pain, like emotion, is simply an indicator to watch out for. Pain is a sign that something significant in me has been affected and is ready for change. I believe that I have always come out stronger and more prepared for future challenges. The first part of the quote is also true. While I know I hoped the world would become rosy and simple in recovery, the truth is that life is still life, full of ups and downs, gains and losses, joy and pain. My program is helping me deal with all of it, One Day at a Time.

Affirmation

Today may I become willing to recognize and accept pain, look beyond the hurt at the affect it is having on me and dare to look how I can grow and change as a result.

September 26

”It takes a long time to bring excellence to maturity.” Publilius Syrus

It’s a funny way to think about it, but in my own way I perfected being an addict. Getting all my rituals down to a science, planning what to do, what to say, or how to manipulate to get time alone. Things that used to take hours of planning and preparation could take place in a matter of minutes. Wow! Here is a place that in my recovery I can find positives from negatives. All those skills of planning and preparation are useful for my day-to-day life. What an opportunity to put them to better use! It’s hard acknowledging that I have abused myself throughout this process. Skills and abilities meant to help nurture me and grow were twisted to isolate and stunt my maturity. Recovery is in part about finding the healthy ways to use the natural talents that my Higher Power gave to me to have a positive influence on my life and the world around me. I know well that one of mine is writing…the continuing pages of my meditations are a constant reminder and so much healthier than the sexual fantasies I used to write. My path to emotional and spiritual maturity continues. There are constant roadblocks and challenges, but I have faith in the God of my understanding and in the tools He has given me to overcome them, One Day at a Time.

Affirmation By the will of my Higher Power, I can turn anything around, and find better ways to use my skills to promote living in the present.

April 21

”Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.” George E. Woodberry

At the height of my addiction, in the darkest period of my acting out, I did indeed feel defeated. Large parts of me were ready to throw in the towel as the only way out seemed to be to delve deeper into the depths of my despair. Today, while I do not yet relish failures, I can more readily accept them as honest efforts in trying new things and in taking chances to cope in more normal ways. And even when things do not go away, I am usually able, sometimes with help, to see the positive in the attempt and maintain a sense of hope. SAA may be based on a spiritual foundation, but what I appreciate the most is how it has renewed my sense of hope that I can live a normal life by working the program to manage my addiction, One Day at a Time. I need no more assurance than that, handling today is a good enough promise for me. With each passing day I feel further from the brink of the pit of despair from whence I came. My days are not always pointed in the right direction, but most are and each one is taking me along my path to recovery.

Affirmation It will be alright for me to fail at something today; I can look at the positive and be encouraged that I am making progress.

February 6

”Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered by older nonsense.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

As addicts in recovery we are often in a state of managing our lives one day at a time. We may feel overwhelmed and not know where to start to put our feet back on the right path. It is important to remember that there is only so much time for us each day and therefore only a limited number of tasks we can accomplish. It’s okay if we do not do as much as we would have liked or planned to do. Tomorrow is another day, and we can start to take things as they come. We will begin to learn how to manage our lives and affairs while making use of the tools of the program. It’s also important to remember to take time and celebrate our accomplishments each day, no matter how big or small.

Affirmation Today I will accept my limit of how much I can accomplish and rejoice in the victories no matter what size they may be. Today is but a stepping stone and tomorrow is always on the horizon.