February 12

”Habits are cobwebs at first; cables at last.” Chinese Proverb

How true this is! My addiction was not something that came in like a tidal wave, strong and overpowering, taking control in a single motion. It began as a small river, slowly eroding away at the bank, carving a slow, steady path into my life. Over the days, weeks and years that constant stream of water ran deeper, grew wider and stronger, and gained momentum. Recovery started in damage control, throwing sandbanks along the river’s edge to stop the water that was flooding parts of my life. Since then, it’s been about creating new pathways for the river to flow, ones that are healthy and maintained, and created with purpose, not left to run wildly along, uncontrolled and unmanaged. The damage from the river of my addiction is likely to stay. Even should the waters fully recede, the dry riverbed will remain, waiting to accept new water at any time. My task in recovery is to keep the waters diverted to their new routes, through the diligence of working my program.

Affirmation My addiction crept into my life slowly, and so too will my new program of recovery. With time and persistence, my actions will change for the better of myself and those around me.

August 24

”Be the change that you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

This quote always reminds me of another anecdote about Gandhi. A mother goes to see him one day and asks Gandhi to tell her son to stop eating sugar. Gandhi tells the woman to come back in 2 weeks. When the woman returns, Gandhi looks at her son and tells him to stop eating sugar. The lady is a bit confused and asks Gandhi why he didn’t simply say this at the previous meeting. To which Gandhi replied, “Two weeks ago I was still eating sugar.” Wow! If only I had a fraction of that resolve and authenticity in my own life. I am trying to adopt this as my way of life. I now observe the speed limit, obey traffic signals, try to be more courteous – all things I would have previously ignored and disregarded because “everyone else does it.” I don’t want to be a blind follower any longer. My path is different now because I choose to make it so. I want to apply the same philosophy to the person I am becoming. I need to focus on the attitudes and behaviours that I want to have rather than relying on what used to be the norm. Changing habits is difficult and I am not always able to make the change right away. It takes patience, perseverance, and faith in my Higher Power that I will change.

Affirmation Change in my life starts with me. God grant me the strength and courage today to change what I can.