May 3

"Distractions destroy action. If it's not moving you towards your purpose, leave it alone."  Jermaine Riley

I am gaining more awareness of the activities that I use to waste my time, to escape from reality, to simply make the hours pass by me. This is more than simply procrastination, but a choice to avoid doing productive things, to stay away from those things that fulfill my obligations and responsibilities. The other part of this awareness is working to keep my goals and my purpose in mind as I make choices throughout the day. Thanks to this extra time to pause and reflect, and the foundation of my program, I am choosing a path of growth which meets my responsibilities more often. I recall an interview with astronaut Chris Hadfield, who at a young age knew that he wanted to become a space explorer. He clearly stated, that even from the young age, he tailored his life to make choices that only supported his goal, becoming an astronaut. I'll admit I lack that level of discipline, but I can admire that commitment. It does not keep me from striving towards such an ideal.

Affirmation

I will look to maintain a steady course in my recovery and make the right choices today.

April 30

"Try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud.” Maya Angelou

On a cloudy day like today it can be easy for me to forget what the warmth of the sun feels like on my skin. I can all too easily relate to the grey skies, reflecting that dreary atmosphere in my own mood. I need to make a conscious effort to realize that I do not need to be a victim to my circumstances. I am not obligated to automatically imitate my surroundings. Rather, I can choose to remember that the sun is still there, however there is simply an obstacle between me and those rays of light. Certainly it's not a barrier that I can remove, but it doesn't change the fact that I have the choice to focus on what is in the way, or my belief and faith that the sun is still there doing its job. This is where my own determination and discipline comes into play. It is easy to do the right things when things are going well, harder when they are not. But it is in the consistency and persistence of my actions that I build resolve and character. Further, where I start my day from, the base attitudes and perceptions I choose to hold onto, affects my interactions with others. If I am being positive, looking for the silver lining in the grey clouds above, I am more likely to be open and willing to be of service, to offer a helping hand or empathetic ear, and to be that rainbow in someone else's cloud.

Affirmation

My own attitude heading into today will have a great influence on my interactions with others so let me choose to be positive no matter the external circumstances.

July 21

”Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” Jim Rohn

Working my program is, in large part, about discipline. One of the things that I lacked, was a healthy sense of discipline, during my active acting out. All too often my life was controlled by whims and desires, seeking instant gratification whenever and wherever the urge arose. There was little that resembled any self-restraint. My life was more a mix of periods of quiet interspersed with periods of chaos. Therefore one of the tasks in my early recovery was to re-establish a routine, with healthy checks and balances and early warning devices to help keep me on track. It was about taking the steps and my outer circle activities and incorporating them into my life. In order to change my problematic lifestyle, I needed to find better ways to cope with the daily challenges I faced. This was about creating new and better habits to change who I was fundamentally. If I look back now, really this was about going through the junk drawer of habits and behaviours and throwing out the ones that I had been holding onto for too long, but that were expired and not very useful. I had to do that clean-up work in order to make room for the new and improved ways of handling life events. This is all part of the process, and it can be difficult to work through, because all those old ways are comfortable and known, they come with no surprises. But the recognition that they are destructive rather than helpful assisted in my willingness to let them go.

Affirmation

Establishing discipline in my new behaviours is the foundation for allowing me to work towards new goals.