March 20

”Freedom is another word for having nothing else to lose.” Clint Eastwood

Many of us have hit bottom in our addiction. The point where we could no longer tolerate what we had become, how we were living. For many there seemed to be no reason to continue, no light at the end of the tunnel. Yet for some reason or another, our Higher Power intervened to show us the way into the program and recovery. It may have been a friend, a family member, doctor or therapist, or some advertisement or media that connected with us when we needed it the most. We latched on hoping against all hope to be pulled out of our pit of despair. In our recovery, we’re learning we can earn our freedom. In working the steps of the program we are both letting go of our past and giving our future over to that power greater than ourselves. In doing so we are liberating ourselves to follow the path that will be laid before us as long as we continue to surrender our will and remain open to the guidance of our Higher Power.

Affirmation I can rise up from the lowest point of my life to find my way back to seek the summit.

March 15

”I wanted to write about the moment when your addiction no longer hides the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down that’s the moment when you somehow have to choose what your life is going to be about.” Chuck Palahniuk

One of the things we realize is that once we’ve admitted that we are a sex addict there is no turning back. Just like a cartoon character that runs off of a cliff, once he looks down, gravity suddenly takes effect and there is nothing left to do but be pulled down. Taking that first step to come clean about our past behaviour can feel the same way, like the dam of our past has sprung a leak that leads to us being washed away in a flash flood. It’s important to remember that our past is finite and that the waters trying to drown us are not limitless but will eventually recede. In the beginning is when we need the most support to know we aren’t alone, to help keep us afloat and to remind us that this too will pass. It’s also comforting to know that at the time we find the courage to admit our problem and begin working the program, our resolve and will are often strong enough to help us weather the oncoming storm. In the end, time will temper all things and restore balance.

Affirmation I know there is a flood that awaits me, but I also know that I need not face it alone.