March 25

”Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” Walter Anderson

Feeling anxious is a normal part of me. It happens most often when I am confronted with the unknown, when the future is uncertain. It is my worries about the future, about things to come.     In the past, anxiety was one of the driving forces for turning to my addiction to cope. In recovery, I am learning that there are different avenues for me to take. Probably the most effective tools for me in times of uncertainty are the Serenity Prayer and Step Three. From the Serenity Prayer, recognizing the things I cannot change, often the seeds of my worries, and focusing on what I can, helps to ground me in the present moment. And from Step Three, opening myself to the will of my Higher Power, is about trusting in His plan, and that everything is going to work itself out in the end.      These are simple actions I can take. Moreover, focusing on the routine of my day, taking care of the things that need to be done, also is a healthy distraction from my anxiety. I need to look after myself and my basic needs and fulfill my responsibilities to my family, my work, etc. As the saying goes, this too shall pass.

Affirmation

I will take the actions necessary to progress through today, even if I am feeling anxious or worried.

October 14

”Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” Corrie Ten Boom

Choices are the cornerstone of my world. There are those which propel me forward and those which help to keep me mired in the muck. Worry is one of the latter. It is something I am recognizing that serves no purpose other than to have me dwell incessantly on past mistakes or a future that has not yet come. Both of these have the same result, which is taking me away from today and from acting in the moment. Worry is also a root of other negative states, like anxiety, fear, desperation, frustration, sorrow and even depression. It saps my time and energy to focus on those things within my control. Worry is very much about spending, or wasting, time on all the multitude of things which are outside my control. A good place for the Serenity Prayer to help me regain my bearings. Just like my circles teach me to surround myself with healthy activities, I also need to consciously seek healthy states of mind. I agree that there will be times when situations evoke less pleasant emotions, and that it is important for me to experience them and get through those moments. However, those should not be my predominant feelings to help me along my way. I recognize that life is not a steady state, but filled with highs and lows, yet I do have the ability to wallow in my states of despair and sadness, or to find the courage to find the joy and happiness in life. My Higher Power is always there to lend me the strength to get back to living my life rather than merely passing from moment to moment.

Affirmation

Just like there are days when it is difficult to get out of bed, so too are there days when it will be hard to put a smile on my face. Yet even this is a choice, and I can choose to see the light of the day rather than the shadow that falls behind me.

April 21

”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

The Bible has been one of the many resources added into my recovery reading. It’s partly due to the fact that my own Higher Power is God, and that work is his word captured for mankind to read and learn. But it’s also because the more I read, the more often I see phrases and ideas that have come to take on their own life in society, but are often quoted from other sources. Like the opening quote today, for example, which has a striking resemblance to other quotes about worrying about the future. This passage is a good reminder for me, no matter what the source. Today and the events that will arise will certainly be enough to keep me occupied. I don’t need to add to today’s pressures by worrying about things that might take place tomorrow. I do hope that I am getting better at looking at my day more positively though, not anticipating all the “troubles of today” that await me. My focus needs to be on living in the present, being aware of what is happening at the current moment. This is the time I have to work with, where I can make the choices and exert the influence that will make a difference in my life and the world around me. This is the gift I have recovered in sobriety that I dare not waste as I have too often in the past. Here’s to living for today!

Affirmation

I will rejoice in the gift that comes when the fog of my addiction has lifted, which is living in and for the moment. What a joy to simple be present in the world once again!

March 4

”Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” Charles Spurgeon

I cannot control what is going to happen tomorrow. I don’t know what events will take place, good, bad or indifferent. So therefore, worrying about what may or may not happen really does not serve any purpose. If there are things about tomorrow that I can do something about today, well that is something within my control. All that worrying about the future does is take away from today, spending my energy on speculation. It’s personal effort that I can put to better use taking care of matters before me, or in preparing for things I expect to happen tomorrow. But being anxious is only wasting time today. So, back again to the moral of the Serenity Prayer, to focus on the things I can change. That means living in the present moment, and leaving the past behind and the future before me. All this worry about what may happen is a form of procrastination that serves no real purpose, unless I am planning and making concrete actions to avoid risks and pitfalls.

Affirmation I will focus on the tasks before me, living in the moment and letting the past and future where they are.

May 17

”Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Anonymous

One of the biggest shifts in working and living my program is the fact that I am trying to be in the moment. Not in the past, not in what happened an hour ago, a year ago or a decade ago. Nor in the future, what might happen later today, on the weekend or a month from now. The most important thing is right here, right now, this very instant. Worry is a thief. It steals my energy, my concentration, but more importantly it takes away the present. It will certainly fill my time, and make me consider a number of things that will pre-occupy me, but it does not lead me to action. Worry is a master of inaction, very similar in that respect to fear. Fear is conquered by courage. Worry is conquered by surrender and faith. By the belief that my Higher Power is holding me in His hands, that He knows what is best for me and will lead me along the right path if I trust and follow His direction. My task is to continue doing the right things, to work my program, follow the steps, reach out, pray and meditate. The rest will happen as He has designed.

Affirmation I will be wary when my thoughts turn to worry and take me away from the present moment. I will keep surrendering myself to the will of God.

October 2

”The reason why worry kills more people than works is that more people worry than work.” Robert Frost

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. Odd isn’t it, not a single mention of worry in those three simple lines. So where does it fit in? Hmmm, is worrying something I can change or not? I suppose, if I reflect, I can choose not to worry, so the opposite would be, well, letting go. Let Go and Let God – sounds a lot like accepting things I cannot change. And doing this brings me Serenity. Pretty powerful little saying, the Serenity Prayer. Stop worrying, let go, and you’ll feel more at peace – with yourself and the world around you. Pretty amazing stuff. Now, I mean, not all worry is bad, but really in very few cases does worrying accomplish anything. Usually it just increases and encourages my fears of what may or may not happen. It’s really not very useful in trying to avoid or prevent a situation, and is certainly not taking action in a positive direction. I think it is good that I am learning to worry less and turn those things which are out of my control over to the God of my understanding. Besides, I think He knows just a little better than I do what the future holds for me.

Affirmation Worrying prevents me from acting; time to let go and move on with those things I can do something about.

August 1

”Life goes not backwards not tarries with yesterday.” Kahlil Gibran

Life may not take me back in time, but that certainly does not stop me from being able to get stuck in the past. If I send my energy either “what if’ing” or simply obsessing about things that have happened, the world carries on around me while I take no active role. My inability to let go, to give up control of the yesterdays that I can do nothing to change, inhibits me from being present and taking action in today. I wonder if we are one of the few species who even bothers to worry about yesterday. I can’t imagine most creatures would survive for very long if they spent as much energy thinking about all that had happened rather than taking care of what needed to be done right now. I think sometimes as a human I feel a need to complicate life when really it is meant to be simplified. If I am hungry, I eat. If I am thirsty, I drink. If I am cold, I find a way to stay warm. The weather yesterday, the report that was due, and the clothes I wore, all these details and more have next-to-no impact on my present condition and needs. Now is the time that matters and therefore deserves my attention.

Affirmation Right here, right now is where I can change, grow, learn, and work on my recovery – so let’s get to it!

July 12

”The important thing is this: to be ready at any moment to sacrifice what you are for what you could become.” Charles Dickens

I often question which choices are fulfilling the will of my Higher Power voice those that are of my own design. I think my place where this is least clear is in dealing with my spouse. Having made many efforts to reconcile, reading scripture and working through self-help books to improve my knowledge of the role I should be taking thus far have had little impact as my partner has barely begun their own journey of recovery. It is easy for me to doubt what the future holds and trust that my Higher Power knows what is best for me in the long term. I know the hard choice, loving when no love is returned, forgiving when no pardoning comes back, hoping when all seems hopeless, is the way I should be going yet as a human being I have limits. It is hard not to give in to frustration and despair. In times like these I need to turn back to my program, my outer circle, and do what I can to take care of me. If I concentrate on life a day at a time I let go of worrying about what the future holds and keep myself more open to the will of the God of my understanding.

Affirmation My sacrifice for today will be to follow the path that is difficult, but likely the best one for me in the long run.