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”When defeat comes,
accept it as a sign that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and
set sail once more toward your current goal.”
Napoleon
Hill
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Relapse is not much fun. Falling off the
path of recovery and back to my old ways is not pleasant. It is a painful
reminder that I have a problem. It is a step back to the guilt and shame of
the past. It is a reminder of the failure – to myself and those close to me.
It breaks trust, removes hope and crushes dreams. It admitting once more that
I screwed up and needing to find the strength and courage to pick myself back
up and to carry on.
Routine was my biggest enemy this time
around. Routine that involved me feeling like I am normal, like I don’t need
to constantly be working my program. But my relapse has shown me this is not
the case. The only way for me to stay sober is to make my program my new
routine. Straying from my outer circle and all the important things in my
healthy recovery sets me up to fall back. The addiction is always in the
wings waiting for a chance to get back in the game.
So my resolve has to be redoubled. I need
to do most of the good things for me each and every day. That means
activities like sleeping and eating well, getting exercise, spending time in
my program, checking in with my sponsor or a sponsee, reading recovery materials,
writing, prayer and meditation, and time with friends or loved ones. Each
element plays it’s part in keeping me healthy. I need to make a checklist to review
each day as part of my Step 10 inventory and then reflect on how well I am
planning for success. Otherwise I am moving towards being vulnerable for my
poorer decisions and behaviours.
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Affirmation
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My
program is not perfect, but as long as I am willing to keep trying, I will
get it mostly right and stay on the right path.
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These thoughts are part of my personal journal - reflections of where I am and have been in my recovery, but also where I want to be. My words come from my heart, and moments of clarity when I am best connected with my Higher Power. May God grant you serenity in reviewing my humble beginnings and my continuing path of recovery.
Showing posts with label Step Ten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Step Ten. Show all posts
Wednesday, 30 July 2014
July 30
Saturday, 31 May 2014
May 31
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”The most efficient
way to live reasonably is every morning to make a plan of one's day and every
night to examine the results obtained.”
Alexis
Carrel
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Daily reflection is an important part of
my day. I try to do it in two steps. The first part is when I wake up, to
look at what I want to accomplish the day. It also includes asking my Higher Power
to be receptive to His will for me during the day, to have the tools I need
to do His works. It’s also a reflection on my visualization wall, a reminder
of my longer term goals and aspirations. This also includes some affirmations
and positive thoughts and quotations to set my attitude on a good path.
The second part is the wrap-up at the end
of the day. Either during my shower, as I lay in bed relaxing before falling
asleep, or sometimes as I enjoy some time in the hot tub, I look back over
the course of the day. It’s a chance to see what I have done, things that I
can improve on, and time to lay out at least a few items for the next day. I
can celebrate my accomplishments, as well as give thanks for the blessings I
received throughout the day.
This is my ongoing Step 10 work, to keep a
daily inventory. It’s part of me working on my awareness, forgiving and
seeking amends as I make mistakes, and working at not letting things build
and turn into resentments, shame and guilt. This is part of my healthier
routine and it is a big component in helping to maintain my sobriety.
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Affirmation
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The
steps are the basis of my program of recovery, and it’s important for me to
work as many of them as I can into my day-today living.
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