April 8

"As with all commandments, gratitude is a description of a successful mode of living. The thankful heart opens our eyes to a multitude of blessings that continually surround us.” James E. Faust

I read somewhere that the difference between giving thanks and being grateful is that the former is done with words, but the latter through action. I guess that is a bit apparent in the two terms - giving thanks versus being grateful. We give compliments, praise, and thanks, and this usual implies our words. But being kind, courteous or grateful, is indeed more about our actions. It can include words but needs to be something more. So listing things I am grateful for is more akin to just giving thanks. To express gratitude to someone, well maybe that is accompanied by a token of my appreciation, or some act of service to show how I felt. It requires more commitment from me to express appropriately. Giving thanks is certainly a part of gratitude, but in being grateful, I am changing who I am for the better, seeking the positive, improving myself to make the world a nicer, kinder, gentler place.

Affirmation

I will practice gratitude today, finding acts of showing how grateful I am for the people and blessing I have in my life.

November 12

” It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” J. K. Rowling

I believe that addiction, any addiction, is a disease of choice. That the addictive process affects the brain’s ability to make choices, to evaluate a situation and to understand the repercussions of our actions. As most significant recovery literature points out, without this disease, the threat of the consequences, the harm it can and does cause to ourselves and those around us, would be enough to make us stop. The fact that we, that I, continued to make choices to support my addiction and to act out in spite of the damage it would cause, confirms that belief. I have learned in recovery that although I have this disease which affects how I make decisions, I am not doomed forever. The problem is only present when I am actively supporting my addict, and when I am sober, when I abstain from those behaviours and activities that are part of my addiction, I can and do make sane and healthy choices. It is said that actions speak louder than words. By corollary, my abilities, the things I am capable of, are not worth much if they do no match my choices and how I decide to interact with the world around me. My program is giving me the tools and tips to be a productive and connected member of society, rather than isolating and only seeking to fulfill my own selfish desires. I am grateful for the gift of choice which has been restored to me by working the steps.

Affirmation

I will focus on my ability to make choices today, and work at making the best choices that I can to support my program and my recovery.

March 2

”Trust yourself. If you don’t learn to trust yourself, you will never be happy. You’ll always be deferring your authority to someone or something outside of you.” Paul Selig

One member’s introduction made a big impression on me and served as a reminder of the fact that I often go to a meeting to share the things I don’t want to say. Recently this message took on a new meaning as I began to look more at my actions, primarily as part of my work on Step 10. What I have discovered is not only that I need to share the things I don’t want to talk about or prefer to keep a secret, but that I also need to apply this to what I do. I have many choices in my day of what needs to get done  or what I should be doing, and I have recognized that I often shy away from the things I don’t want do. Just like I need to share the things I would rather not bring out into the open, I am realizing that the things I don’t want to do are what I should be doing. Most often they are related to my recovery and taking better care of myself. I was too used to shirking my responsibilities during my active addiction, of finding everything I could do other than what really needed to be done, so this is another area where I need to work and develop better habits.

Affirmation I will prayer for the strength and courage to do the things that I would rather not today. The challenge they present is a block I need to overcome to grow.

January 17

”Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.” Alfred A. Montapert

There are times when I have tried turning a problem over to my Higher Power and have waited patiently for Him to take care of things. And waited. And waited some more. And then come to the conclusion that perhaps it was something that I could change after all. So instead of asking for it to be taken from me, I prayed for the courage to take action and move forward. This is the way things are supposed to happen sometimes. Some of the main advantages of these delayed actions are that I have ample time to let my emotions cool, time to think of possible solutions and to have an opportunity to discuss the situation with others. If and when I finally do act it is from a more rational and calm place. I am grateful for that time to reflect because it helps me from reacting in the heat of the moment and escalating a given situation. Surrender is becoming more and more natural, but even this I can rely on too often. God’s will might be what I am striving to carry out, but it’s not going to happen of its own accord. I need to do the work to move in the right direction. Otherwise I will just sit on that rocking horse until it can no longer support me.

Affirmation Delaying my actions in emotional situations is often beneficial.  And it is okay if sometimes I need to pray for the courage to do what needs to be done.

September 9

”No matter who says what, you should accept it with a smile and do your own work.” Mother Theresa

There are days when I surprise myself in my actions. Like the other day when I received a rather lengthy diatribe from my spouse that was a release of anger, frustration, emotion and pain for all the ways I had done them and my family wrong while in my addiction. Somehow I managed to read it all, vent my frustration with other members, and then, after calming myself, replying with a simple and genuine “Thank You.” Those two words have so much meaning. I am grateful that the feelings were shared, grateful to be able to accept the parts that are true and let go of those that are not instead of creating resentments, and grateful to have insight into where my former partner is in their own life. Lastly it was yet another reminder of how much differently I live today than when I was under the influence of my addiction. The program has opened the doors back to the house of the God of my understanding. I have found peace and serenity within, I am continuously letting go of what I cannot control, living in the moment, and happily, in a place where I can truly say, “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

Affirmation Letting my Higher Power into my life brings me peace and serenity; from here I can face all the challenges of life with calmness and reason.