January 26

”Look far, and see the end from the beginning.” Chinese Proverb

Recovery has taught me the value of living in the present, of letting go of the past that I can no longer change or influence and shopping all my worrying about the future. What matters is where I am right here, right now and how I choose to live and be in this very moment. Another aspect of time and looking ahead certainly comes from those moments when I am triggered. Learning how to “play the tape to the end”, to realize where my initial thoughts and actions are destined to lead me, what the ultimate action and behaviours will be, who I will hurt in the process and how I will feel about the outcome and myself afterwards as I try to escape or avoid whatever problem I am facing has greatly helped reduce my desire to act out or feed my addiction in any way. Seeing the end when I have only let that first droplet fall into the pond provides me with insight to see the ripple effect and how it is likely to damage my serenity and produce other negative effects. Early prevention and intervention saves me for a lot of headaches further down the line if I continue along with my addictive patterns.

Affirmation I am grateful for my increased awareness that can help me to take a different direction earlier and earlier in those times when I find myself triggered.

December 6 (58)

”Begin each day as if it were on purpose.” Will Smith

One tool that I have seen work well is establishing a plan of recovery for each day. Taking a few moments and considering what activities and tools I can use and schedule into my daily routine to provide reminders and support. Then I can make myself accountable by checking in with my sponsor or a fellow member at the end of the day to see how many of the things I actually incorporated. It is fuel to keep me on the right path be setting up items in advance that will aid me throughout the day. It is a different approach than focusing on my unwanted thoughts and behaviours. Instead, looking at the positive is a way to help reinforce my new way of living, just like affirmations are meant to help me break free from my negative thinking. This affirmative action planning is another guideline to assist in the creation of a new routine and habits that protect my sobriety. Beginning each day with a purpose is a boost to reinforce my recovery and enhance my defenses against the pull of my addiction. I may not always have a terrific day, but the more I work at living my new life, the greater the hope I have of achieving freedom from the dark cloud of my sexual addiction.

Affirmation I will plan ahead for tomorrow to put in place recovery work and outer circle activities to protect my sobriety and to heal my connection to my Higher Power.