April 27

"Don't wait. The time will never be just right.” Napoleon Hill

Fear is a powerful emotion, often paralyzing, freezing me in my tracks, even before I have attempted to take the first step. Fear of failure, of making the wrong choice, of not being able to follow through, of not having the skills or ability to succeed. My fear manifests in many different forms, but no matter how it appears, the goal is the same, to keep me within the safe and comfortable chains of what I know. This is not a recipe for growth or change. In order learn, to improve, to become a better person, I need to take risks and voyage into the unknown. I need to break free from the chains of my past to try something new, to be open to failure, to be vulnerable. In my struggles I am learning to see the presence of fear from a new perspective. Rather than it being an obstacle, it is becoming a sign post that I am moving towards growth and development, that I am challenging myself and my beliefs. It is becoming an clear indicator that I am making progress and moving in a new direction. I am turning my fear into positive motivation.

Affirmation

I will pause when I feel afraid today to investigate the message behind it, and look to use it to fuel my decision to change and grow.

February 21

”He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.” Marcus Aurelius

As an addict we may often feel that we are living at odds with ourselves. Our wants and desires to feed our addiction normally conflict with the wants and desires of our healthy self. It can be a struggle in knowing which set of needs we are satisfying by our actions. This conflict has been compared to by some as having two wolves inside us. Each act we perform, each choice we make feeds one wolf or the other. The challenge can be in knowing which wolf we are feeding. The ideal state we seek is to be able to decide which wolf gets fed, and preferably we choose not to feed the wolf of addiction. This constant internal struggle takes place unbeknownst to most people around us. It can sap our energy to perform normal daily activities and cause us to be irritable and short on patience. Finding a place to share our state of mind, with our Higher Power, sponsor or someone in the fellowship can help us to free ourselves from the struggle and remind us that we are not alone. It is a difficult task to be ever vigilant with our internal struggle but we can have faith in the support of our program.

Affirmation I know that I must be every watchful for the motivations of my actions, and try to chose those that do not feed my addiction.

February 7

”Ability is what you are capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” Lou Holtz

We all have mornings where we wake up and would simply prefer to roll over and go back to sleep. As an addict in recovery, we often feel the same way about working our program; it can wait until tomorrow. In recovery there is often a cost to our procrastination. For many of us avoiding active work in our steps and group leads to middle circle behaviours or even inner circle activity. We have learned through our own experience and from those of our fellow members that procrastination all too often leads to poor choices for our recovery. It’s important for us to work recovery tools into our daily lives. From reading literature, meditation, exercise, reaching out to our sponsor or a group member, or attending a meeting, all these small acts renew our commitment and keep us on the path to maintaining our sanity.

Affirmation Today I will make the time for recovery because I am worth it.