February 21

”He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.” Marcus Aurelius

As an addict we may often feel that we are living at odds with ourselves. Our wants and desires to feed our addiction normally conflict with the wants and desires of our healthy self. It can be a struggle in knowing which set of needs we are satisfying by our actions. This conflict has been compared to by some as having two wolves inside us. Each act we perform, each choice we make feeds one wolf or the other. The challenge can be in knowing which wolf we are feeding. The ideal state we seek is to be able to decide which wolf gets fed, and preferably we choose not to feed the wolf of addiction. This constant internal struggle takes place unbeknownst to most people around us. It can sap our energy to perform normal daily activities and cause us to be irritable and short on patience. Finding a place to share our state of mind, with our Higher Power, sponsor or someone in the fellowship can help us to free ourselves from the struggle and remind us that we are not alone. It is a difficult task to be ever vigilant with our internal struggle but we can have faith in the support of our program.

Affirmation I know that I must be every watchful for the motivations of my actions, and try to chose those that do not feed my addiction.