”I am larger, better than I thought. I did
not know I held so much goodness.”
Walt Whitman
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What
a good feeling it is to look back at my life and realize how different a
person I have become. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago when I was at the
point of total desperation; when I was so full of doubt, when I felt
emotionally numb - pleasure deaf as I called it.
Today
I can walk with a smile on my face and feel genuinely happy. I feel the
warmth of the sun on my skin. I can listen in quiet solitude and feel the
presence of my Higher Power beside me. I can look at my children and feel
joy. I can laugh and be happy.
Even
on the other side of life, I can feel sad, angry or hurt. I no longer need to
hide these emotions. I have the courage to face them and experience them for
what they are. I still feel lonely but it no longer haunts my thoughts. I
have regained the ability to look myself in the mirror and like the person
staring back at me. I am mostly at peace with who I am.
|
Affirmation
I
know I am a good person and that I am a better person today because of my
recovery.
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These thoughts are part of my personal journal - reflections of where I am and have been in my recovery, but also where I want to be. My words come from my heart, and moments of clarity when I am best connected with my Higher Power. May God grant you serenity in reviewing my humble beginnings and my continuing path of recovery.
Book Sales
My first print run of 100 copies sold out, but I have had a second printing of an additional 250 copies done this year. So more are available, now at a cost of $20 CAD. My second book, Twelve Steps for Everyday Living, is now available for purchase for $15 CAD. It is my attempt, based on my experience and those who've been a part of my recovery journey, to transform the 12 Steps into a tool for anyone to use to navigate the challenges and trials of life.
In Serenity,
Scott Email: sastewart74@gmail.com
Review it? Do you have a copy and enjoy what you have read? Can you help me promote it by leaving a good review at Goodreads (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21939460-lean-on-me)? Thanks for your support.
In other news, after a long debate and some peer pressure, I have started a second blog, along the same vein as Lean on Me, but in my second language. You can check it out here - Tomber dans l'appui.
Life is meant to be lived and fully embraced. It is a great gift that you have rediscovered this grace and as painful as living life without the sexual crutches may be, it is well worth it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us.
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