”I am larger, better than I thought. I did
not know I held so much goodness.”
Walt Whitman
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What
a good feeling it is to look back at my life and realize how different a
person I have become. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago when I was at the
point of total desperation; when I was so full of doubt, when I felt
emotionally numb - pleasure deaf as I called it.
Today
I can walk with a smile on my face and feel genuinely happy. I feel the
warmth of the sun on my skin. I can listen in quiet solitude and feel the
presence of my Higher Power beside me. I can look at my children and feel
joy. I can laugh and be happy.
Even
on the other side of life, I can feel sad, angry or hurt. I no longer need to
hide these emotions. I have the courage to face them and experience them for
what they are. I still feel lonely but it no longer haunts my thoughts. I
have regained the ability to look myself in the mirror and like the person
staring back at me. I am mostly at peace with who I am.
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Affirmation
I
know I am a good person and that I am a better person today because of my
recovery.
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These thoughts are part of my personal journal - reflections of where I am and have been in my recovery, but also where I want to be. My words come from my heart, and moments of clarity when I am best connected with my Higher Power. May God grant you serenity in reviewing my humble beginnings and my continuing path of recovery.
Thursday, 23 February 2012
February 23
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Life is meant to be lived and fully embraced. It is a great gift that you have rediscovered this grace and as painful as living life without the sexual crutches may be, it is well worth it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us.
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