April 7

”Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” Isaac Asimov

Like everyone, I can get stuck in a rut of expecting certain people to act in certain ways because that’s just the way it is. It’s a stereotypical and even a little judgemental for me to do so, that there you have it, it’s one of my fallibilities as a human. Even though I am in recovery, changing myself and expecting that others should see the work and treat me differently, I don’t always afford others the same luxury. How very hypocritical of me indeed! So when someone does something “out of character” it usually takes me by surprise. Hopefully it’s a welcome surprise. In the past, I know I would have been suspicious of the sudden, good change but I can recognize that I am much more tolerant and accepting nowadays. I do believe in second (and third or fourth) chances for people. Things, and people, can and will change. I am grateful for the ability to experience this, and I know part of it has arisen through my growing ability to let o and not worry so much about other’s opinions. Focusing on me and what I need to change takes the pressure off trying to bend the rest of the world to my will. And washing away some of my assumptions certainly helps in making things look brighter.

Affirmation

It’s good for me to challenge my preconceptions and to open my views of the world. This is part of my healthy living.

March 6

”The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions, the more likely there's gold in letting go of them.” John Seely Brown

I beginning to understand that many of my decisions and paths in my life have stemmed from false beliefs learned in childhood. Things like kids should be seen and not heard. That boys don’t cry or show emotion. That yelling is acceptable when someone doesn’t listen. There are many things I am beginning to realize had more of an impact on my life than I suspected. In analyzing my past I can see patterns emerging that make it evident why my life went the way it did. I was programmed to react in these ways without my knowledge. It’s a matter of me being a product of my environment, and having learned the lessons I did, good or bad, from my parents and others who influence me at a young age. So the next step after identifying these incorrect assumptions that I have lived by is to replace them with proper ones. So kids have the right to be heard and I teach my own children this rule. Boys can cry and have emotions, and therefore so can I as an adult. Yelling at someone who doesn’t listen does not encourage them to be more attentive but the opposite. Keeping my calm is much more effective. This is the work of the 7th Step, letting go of my defects of character. And it is teaching me a better way to live.

Affirmation In recognizing those parts of me that are built on an improper understanding, I can choose to replace them with better ideals and improve my own character.