March 24

”We don't heal in isolation, but in community.” S. Kelley Harrell

Strange times, strange times indeed. The world today feels like it is collapsing inward. Self-isolation is the buzzword in every heart. As an addict, I have a love/hate relationship with isolation. My addict craved isolation, sought excuse after excuse to get those moments alone where it could be satisfied. And in early recovery I feared isolation, afraid to give that space for my addiction to increase it's tendrils of temptation. Thankfully I have a foundation of recovery, and a community that is a large part of that. It involves my sponsor, sponsees and fellow brothers and sisters in the program. It has expanded to include family and close friends, and I know I am not alone, not on my own to fight the daily battle to remain safe and sober. I am grateful for the 12 Steps and the guidance they have provided to lead me back to serenity and sanity. I have found an inner strength which has sprung forth from the depths of my pain and suffering. So I no longer fear isolation as I once did, for I have a strong network of support to keep me on the path of recovery.

Affirmation

I will take measures to ensure I am not isolating myself today, and reach out to someone who is there to support me and my recovery.

August 14

”I am part of all I have met.” Lord Alfred Tennyson

I am unique. My uniqueness comes not only from all the parts inherent in me from birth, but also from everything I have experienced in my life. As true as it is that I have influenced everyone I have come into contact with, so too have I been influenced in return by them. Those I have been more regularly exposed to or that I have let closer into my personal life have had more potential to both nurture and damage parts of me. In some ways this is what allows me to feel more at ease when sharing my darker secrets with strangers in the program, the connection to my personal core is not as strong. There is another dimension. When I begin to see myself as a part of a larger community and recognize the influence I can have, I then have a responsibility to try and be a positive influence. I can strive to be someone who will enhance the journey and lives of others rather than being a hindrance or obstacle. For me this is one way of showing that I am doing the will of my Higher Power.

Affirmation My uniqueness is a gift, but one that is meant to be shared, not hoarded or squandered. May I be a positive influence in the world today.

May 16

”A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.” Herbert Prochnow

I have lived in the country, in small towns and even in larger cities. For me the size of the place has had little to do with how alone or connected I have felt to the community. That power lies within me, whether I choose to be involved or if I would rather isolate and retreat to my own comfort zone. The shame and guilt from my addiction has been a great contributor to keeping me alone in my misery. I have always been disappointed that I have never had many friends, but I was the biggest obstacle. I have done little to invite others into my life. My recovery and my discovery of the SAA program has started me on a path to reconnecting with others, in making new friends – even a new family. I am learning that I do not need to hide behind my wall of shame and guilt from my past. My honest sharing gives me a new freedom to develop a new kind of intimacy with others and to rediscover a sense of community. Sharing my past and letting go of the power of my secrets gives me power to focus on the positive aspects of my being. Regaining the ability to like myself and no longer wanting or needing to isolate will help me in reintegrating myself into my community. I no longer need to be lonesome in a crowd

Affirmation I can learn to love myself and start to open myself to let others into my life. Sharing my secrets will diminish their hold on me.