November 4

”Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.” Dale Carnegie

This certainly sounds like a challenge for an addict. Trying to do good works to make people forget about all the reprehensible acts of the past. This doesn’t even go into what others might think of me because of how poorly I have behaved or how much trust and respect has been broken. There is certainly some truth to this idea. I am a firm believer that I have been successful in my recovery by worrying less about the past than in focusing on what I can do differently today to make a better future. This means letting go of the judgments of others, worrying less about how others perceive me, and working in making me better, on strengthening the good parts of me that I know reflect who I really am. My addiction did a lot of damage to my reputation, and sometimes things from the past are going to show up to haunt me. The best thing I can do is to keep concentrating on my program, putting my best foot forward, and facing each challenge head on. I trust in my Higher Power to push me through whatever lays ahead, and just maybe I will do something worthy of the admiration of others along the way.

Affirmation I know what matters most is how genuine I am for myself and my Higher Power. If this is where I focus my work for now, then whatever other’s think is of little consequence.

October 30

”Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden

I think this idea sums up a good portion of the aim of my recovery, the process through which I will restore my character. While I am not so certain that I was obsessed about my reputation during my active addiction, I was definitely not doing much to build my character. If anything I was acting like a bunch of different characters, but they were mainly facades. The 4th and 5th Steps have been key components to the restoration of my integrity, values and morals. Taking my inventory, fearlessly, and putting my life under a microscope has helped me see in clearer detail all my strengths and weaknesses. This introspection helped lay a foundation for me to start laying down the new framework for the person I want to be. Steps 8 and 9 are a continuation of the process. For me it is taking my recovery work beyond myself, and out into the surrounding area where my actions and behaviours harmed others. In humbling myself to face those who I have hurt, to express my regret in having treated them as I did, and seeking to make amends, I also strengthen my character. These are positive steps to reinforcing the person I want to be in recovery, and in life.

Affirmation In following the Steps, I will work towards rebuilding and strengthening my character, one block at a time.