April 26

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.” Robin Williams

I have often question my place and purpose in the world, especially when things are not going the way I had planned or hoped. In those moments, it is hard to feel like I am making a difference or that I matter. The program is teaching me that it is in these times, especially, that I need to focus on my blessing and practice gratitude. For I can all too easily get caught up in what I am missing, completely forgetting about all the blessings which have been given to me. There is also another lesson that I have been practicing,  and that is performing acts of service. Doing something for others, merely because I can and I am able, is important. It is a small way to change the world for someone else. And it is a great way from me to get out of my own head and to show that I can be useful, that what I do matters. It is also about supporting and building my community.  At the end of the day, when I look back objectively, I can usually find a few things that I have done to show that it mattered that I was in the world for the day. Even if it was only paying a compliment, holding a door open, or giving a friendly smile to a stranger. Even those simple acts of kindness help to make the world a better place to be.

Affirmation

I can practice gratitude and acts of kindness today to  help the world be a kinder place to live.

April 15

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Mahatma Gandhi

Finding myself with too much free time is usually not a good thing. It can lead me to old habits to fill up that empty space. In recovery, I am recognizing that I need to use this time wisely, and one healthy way of doing so is to use it to be of service. This can take many forms, reaching out to someone in the program, doing some chores around the house, or volunteering my time and effort to a worthy cause. These acts of service are not only beneficial to the others I am serving. It is a productive use of my time, it is part of my outer circle, and it connects me to my community and the world around me. It builds up my self-esteem and pride, gives me a sense of accomplishment, and promotes life and growth. My journey is mostly one of self-discovery. About shedding light in the dark corners, but also in recognizing the good and promoting my talents and abilities. I have a lot to offer the world, and I am grateful for the opportunities I have to share myself with others. This is much more rewarding than my selfish behaviours of the past.

Affirmation

Being of service today is a win-win for me and the others I choose to help.

October 10

”Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

As I have said many times, and I am likely to continue repeating, life is about choices. Through the program and my tools like the 12 Steps and the Serenity Prayer, I am getting better at being able to see where and when to make good choices. Bitterness, anger, frustration, malice – these are not choices that enhance my calm. Being loving, tenderhearted, forgiving, showing compassion – these are attitudes that make me feel genuinely good and support my recovery. There is a great parallel here to my program of recovery. Much of my focus these days is on incorporating my outer circle activities into as much of my life as possible. These are the healthy choices that not only support my recovery work, but they also help out my family, community, and workplace. In making decisions that support my new lifestyle, I strengthen my commitment and desire to continue living this way, free from the manipulation and control of my addiction. Much of my time is spent looking at how I can be of service to others, be it my children, my partner, my colleagues, or whomever I am in contact with. In doing so, I am gradually rebuilding my own self-esteem and confidence. I am increasing my self-love, self-acceptance, and fulfilling my own basic needs without needing to have them filled temporarily by sources outside myself. All this leads to a healthier, happier, and more resilient me.

Affirmation

Positive choices today, from my attitude to the activities that I undertake, have a significant influence on how good I will feel, and how healthy and sober my day will be.

August 16

July 16

”You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” Zig Ziglar

There are days when I have to remind myself that I am unique. It’s easy for me to fall into the trap of feeling like just another person in society, following the same rules, and forgetting all the things that make me who I am. But the truth is that there is no one else out there like me. My experiences are mine and mine alone. No one else has the same set of strengths and weakness that I do. No one else looks exactly like me, speaks like me, works like me or thinks like me. I am the only and only me. So then it follows that my Higher Power gave me what I have. I am the only one who can work with those tools, abilities and skills. Others might be able to see them and try to bring them to bear in certain circumstances like work, on a sports team or in a community group. But it still comes down to me putting them into action. And I waste those talents when I choose not to put them to use. So it’s true that I, as a member of the human race, have a responsibility to be of service. How else can I share my knowledge, experience and skills with others? The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions promote a life of service. While my recovery is a selfish pursuit, focused on bettering myself, the end result is that I am a healthier and more responsible citizen who can share the best of myself with the world around me. That is a worthy endeavour and something I strive to do each day. How can I be of service to others today?

Affirmation

In improving my own state of coping with the world, I will become better able to give back and be of service to others.

May 14

”Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” William Jennings Bryan

I think society is more and more goal-oriented and achievement focused. It is filled with people that are convinced that the more they do, the more they succeed, the happier and more fulfilled they will be. Maybe, maybe not, I am not so certain as I once was. I think the 12-Steps have had a significant impact on how I define success and happiness. And I think the 12th Step is a big part, about sharing the message. That for me translates into service, its giving back, giving freely, giving of myself that makes sense to me as real success. My goal is not what I can accumulate, what kinds of trophies or recognition or material abundance I can obtain. It’s about how I can change and improve the world around me, the kind of legacy that I can leave behind, the mark that I can leave in society. Still lofty goals, and still aims that require me to take an active role. But I think these goals align much better with the will of my Higher Power, that they focus on my giving rather than receiving. None of this will happen if I just sit around waiting. I accept the choice to give back now that I have a second lease on life, thanks to the 12-Steps.

Affirmation

I will examine my definition of success today and look at all the small ways I can be of service to others. That will make this a successful and memorable day.

March 31

”Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” Lao-Tzu

I used to be attracted to the idea of being famous, of having enough “celebrity status” to influence people and to be able to make a difference. Yet the more I learn in my journey about being truly happy and about how I can make a real difference in the world, the more I realize that best way to go is to work on myself. It’s in mastering myself that I will become an attractive point of change. It’s a lot like the 11th tradition, that our group seeks to grow, not through promotion, but by attraction. When something is good and truly works, people will be drawn to it. There is also the aspect of service. Being well-known, being someone recognized as a leader, as the take-charge kind of person is one thing. But to be a servant, I believe, is even more powerful. The names that come to mind – Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Princess Diana – provide strong examples of the power of servitude. So allowing myself ot be a good servant, to work to help others grow and succeed is by no means a misplaced effort. I think there are professions which are like this by their very nature, nursing and teaching come immediately to mind, among others. If I think about people whom I would consider truly wise and strong, they certainly fit into the category of knowing themselves well. They are people who are not focused on others first, but in being living examples of what they believe. I am here to live my own life, no one else’s, so it makes sense that I need to have the best relationship with myself that is possible.

Affirmation

In learning about myself I will become a centre of change and make the difference I want to see in the world.

January 13

”Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

There are quite a few versions of the bible, and in some this passage talks of love, hope and charity, rather than love. I find it interesting that the words charity and love can be equated, but I think it makes sense. Charity is about giving to others, about having something to share without the expectation of what will be received in return. I believe that to be the true sense of love as well, that it is also about what we have to share with others without expectation. In recovery, this same idea applies to service. For me, service is about giving back to the program which has saved my life. It is about keeping my group and fellowship healthy and vibrant, about sharing my experience, strength and hope with others to help them in their own journey. It is about giving simply because I have the capacity, and not because I expect any kind of reward in return. So love, charity and service all fall into a similar category. They are meant to be unconditional acts performed simply because one is able. They are about giving and not receiving. When I look at them together in this light, it is another way for me to help distinguish sex from love, something I have struggled with for many years. I am grateful for this new awareness and connection.

Affirmation It is true it is in giving that we receive, but that should not be the reason that I decide to give of myself. I share because I can, not because of any reward.

September 30

”Service is the rent we pay to be living. It is the very purpose of life and not something to do in your spare time.” Marian Wright Edelman

I know for a fact that most of my life has been spent wondering how I can get what I want. It centered on looking to get what I felt I deserved or what was owed to me. It was certainly not focused on what I had to give, on how I was able to share of myself with others. No, I was very self-centered and concerned first and foremost with my own needs. The thing is, I am not more important that anyone else in this world. The universe does not owe me what I want or desire. My Higher Power certainly has a plan for my life, but it’s not to hand over everything I ask for on a silver platter. Recovery is teaching me that my life is meant to be about service, about looking at what I can do for others. The culmination of the Steps is the 12th, focused on “carrying the message to others” – in other words being of service. I was privileged enough to get a second chance, which obligates me to spread the word and find ways to help others have the same opportunity. Service, like working my program, is not something I do like a job from 9-5, but needs to integrate into the new person I have become.

Affirmation I will seek ways to serve others today, whether in relation to my 12-Step work, or simply as another human being, here to share my talents with those around me.

September 25

”If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.” Alex Noble

One thing that is certainly true in my journey of recovery is that my definition of success has changed dramatically. It is so much less about obtaining material things or recognition as it is about having stayed true to my program. Success is now a measure of living by my circles, respecting my boundaries, and working the steps. One of the best ways to recognize this in my daily activities is to look at the ways I have been of service. Whether in my personal life or my professional life, having performed for others, having given freely of myself, is certainly a sign of a healthier way of living. Working for others, for their betterment, also is a boon to my own progress. I gain as much or more by sharing my talents and knowledge with others, and have a truer sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Living like this makes me feel life is more real and that is certainly a good thing.

Affirmation Success is not defined by the size of my bank account or the number of acquaintances I have. True success is measure by the contributions I make in improving the world I live in, one small step at a time.

October 22

”Try to forget yourself in the service of others.  For when we think too much of ourselves and our own interests, we easily become despondent. But when we work for others, our efforts return to bless us.” Sidney Powell

Most of my focus in my active addiction was on me. Doing things for others was usually just a means to an end, a way to get obligations or people out of my way so that I could do what I really wanted to be doing. Although I may have done a good job, I didn’t usually care much about anything I did or put my heart into the task. My recovery has also been very focused on myself, but at a deeper, more internal level of reflection and introspection as I pull away the layers of deception and falsehood that I used to cover up my emotions. Much of my work had to be done alone, for only I can work on changing my behaviours and attitudes. My really big steps though have come from those times where I have given freely of myself to others. I have taken the role of treasurer for one of my groups, and also helped to establish and lead a step-study group. Not only has this encouraged my own recovery, it has supported the recovery of others. I learn more through the sharing of others that I do by relating my own experiences of strength, hope and courage. It truly is in giving that we receive.

Affirmation I know I am no longer alone in the world, in giving back to the community I shall reap rewards I never would have imagined.

August 28

”Service is the rent we pay to be living. It is the key purpose of life and not something to do in your spare time. ” Marian Wright Edelman

As my term as group treasurer draws to a close, I am grateful for the opportunity to have been of service to my group. It is a small token of appreciation for all the fellowship has given back to me. It has also been a positive motivator to keep me coming to meetings on a regular basis, especially on those days where I would rather have done something else. Having an opportunity to act responsibly was also a building block to putting my life in recovery into perspective and having some healthy, positive experiences to rebuild my self-esteem and confidence. Service is also about humility and putting the needs of others before those of my own. It is a reminder that nothing is beneath me if it is for the benefit of the greater good. Simple acts of collecting donations, paying room rental costs and ordering literature also helped me in ensuring the continuing functioning of my group so that there is a place for fellow addicts, old and new, to come to find the same help I am.

Affirmation Service allows me not only to give back to the program that is helping me, but ensure that the group will exist for others to seek help as well.

June 6

”If you have not often felt the joy of doing a kind act, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself.” A. Neilan

Giving back in service is not about the possibility of getting something in return. Service work is done because we have something to share. For me it comes from a true desire to show gratitude for all I have gained from my fellowship. It’s a small act to do my part to help keep the group functioning so that it will be around for others who need the program as much as I do. Service can be as simple as showing up a few minutes early to help set up tables and chairs, or staying a few minutes later to put them away. It can be chairing a meeting, welcoming a newcomer, or becoming a sponsor. It can be taking a leadership role in a group, intergroup or even with the ISO itself. There are many levels where I can do my part to keep the fellowship alive and well. I have always found in volunteering that I get back so much more than I expected, and usually in ways that I could never have predicted. The opportunities it has opened, the people whom I have encountered, the experiences I have had all continue to provide encouragement for me to give of my time. Service is definitely a healthy activity that resides in my outer circle.

Affirmation I will look for ways that I can give back to the fellowship, big or small, to show my appreciation.

June 3

”There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” John Andrew Holmes

I joined SAA because I needed help. I was grateful to have found a place of support, compassion and understanding. I feel lucky to have found people who have shared their experience, strength and hope, who have encouraged me and who have also told me straight out how they see me and what I have done or not done. These are just some of the gifts I have received from the program so far. Now that I am somewhat more experienced I am encountering a different aspect in the fellowship. It happens more frequently that someone seeks me out for support, or that I am that extra listening ear after a meeting, or that I find myself in the position to tell things as I see them. I always try to be humble and gentle in these moments, remembering all too well what it felt like being in the other member’s place. It is part of my responsibility to actively help others when I am capable of doing so. I still learn as much, if not more, from listening to others as I do in sharing my own experience. It feels good to do service and give back to the program in this fundamental way.

Affirmation I will remember how I felt when I asked for support when others need to lean on me. Being humble and gentle are important attitudes to retain.

March 17

”To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.” Donald A. Adams

To me there has always been a discernible difference between someone who is offering quality service and someone who is simply selling something. The former has a genuine desire to see the customer satisfied with what they leave with, whereas the latter only cares about themselves and normally their paycheck. SAA, like all other 12 Step programs, certainly falls into my conception of service. Our fellowship is concerned with the people involved; the focus of our meetings is helping the addict who still suffers. In fact, our service model is well-defined in the 12 Traditions. Yet this model is not only useful for the organization of our groups and our fellowship. As one member pointed out to me, many of them can be applied in managing our own lives. Those of us who take on roles in our groups, or even beyond, give back in gratitude for some of what we have gained in the program. My own service has come from a desire to keep the group going so that many others like myself have the opportunity to benefit from the principles and practice of my new family.

Affirmation I will give service today; it is important for me to share sincerity and integrity with the world around me.