May 6

"Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays."  Soren Keirkegaard

I have to admit than in the past year or so I have felt several pulls into potential activities to be more of service. I have felt this need to find the right fit to put my skills and talents to use, feeling like I was being called by my Higher Power to do just so. Yet everything so far has been just a bright, flashy light attracting my attention. I have made attempts to pursue many of these, yet none has materialized into something solid. Today I am in a similar state, the latest thing to catch my attention is sitting in front of me, and I am questioning if this is the path I am meant to follow. Is it where my Higher Power wants me to focus my attention and make a commitment to this cause? My honest answer is that I simply do not know, being even more unsure of myself and this potential direction given all the other shiny things to which I have been drawn. So this time around I am making a change, I am praying for guidance and direction. I am asking others to do the same, to see if this is indeed the way I am being called forward. I do not know how the answer will come or what it will be. I am simply trusting in God, being faithful to His will, and offering myself to be of service. Let His will be done and I shall be content.

Affirmation

Prayer is my connection to my Higher Power and I will use it to seek direction and guidance when I do not know which way to turn.

August 4

”The uncertainties of the present always give way to the enchanted possibilities of the future.” Kirkland

I am learning to stop trying to second guess myself and others. It’s too easy for me to search for meaning and motivation in situations where I have no control in an attempt to try and make sense of it. The problem is that only through open communication with others will I get the information that I am lacking… and only if that other person is willing to share it. Trying to find justification or rationalizations for someone else’s behaviour is a fruitless activity that only leads to more pain and frustration. So this is another part of learning to let go. It means being able to accept the actions and words of others at face value rather than searching for a hidden meaning or motivation. It means stop brooding when others behave in ways that confuse or frustrate. It means I go back to where my focus is supposed to be, on me and my recovery, the parts that I can control and change. When I let go of these uncertainties I give myself the liberty to live in the moment and to be open to the future rather than having my focus on the past. It is easier to maintain my own serenity when I stop trying to figure out how everyone else around me is doing and why they are doing what they do. It’s none of my business so best to let them be.

Affirmation I will keep my focus on the present by not analyzing the deeds of others and worrying only about what I say and do.