December 30

”A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” David Brinkley

How do I react to the criticisms of others? What do I do with those who try to pull me down, discredit me, or make me look bad? Do I retaliate? Do I cower and hide? Or is there another option? I have spent much of my life lacking the self-confidence to stand up for myself, to defend my values and beliefs, to take charge when others have tried to bring me down. In truth, I believe that this was due in part because I did not have a good relationship with myself, nor with a Higher Power. Rather I lived letting others define who I was, how I should act, and determine what role I was supposed to be playing. Life in recovery has begun to show me that there is another way to go through this world. Following the will of the God of my understanding provides direction for my life. It also provides support and helps me to ignore those who do not wish to see me succeed in life. I am beginning to understand that much of that criticism comes from jealousy, envy and others misfortune and not that of my own. People who are mean tend not be well in their own lives and seek to put others down in attempt to make themselves feel better. That is not how I choose to live. I can use that negative energy targeted against me as proof that I am going in the right direction.

Affirmation

Negative reactions to how I am living can be as important as positive ones to reinforce that I am doing the right thing. I need to also be cognizant of the source of those reactions to determine what I should do with the feedback received.

November 1 (93)

”Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” Sun Tzu

Regaining my self-confidence and trust in my ability to make healthier decisions is enabling me to take better advantage of life events. Certainly just the simple fact of being sober and not consumed by the thoughts of my addiction allows me to recognize more opportunities in the first place. The new awareness of my surroundings has penetrated all aspects of my life. It is a bit like realizing I have been living in a fog for years, only being able to see a short distance ahead as my addiction controlled what was acceptable to recognize. Now that the haze is lifting, I am aware that there is so much more to life. Life is funny sometimes, and things happen that are more than coincidental. It has happened more than once when I have been at a low point in my recovery, where I should have been reaching out, that instead I have had others reach out to me. It is these blessings in disguise that remind me that my Higher Power is always watching and looking out for me. I am grateful that I recognize that in helping others I often get help that I may not even have been aware I needed.

Affirmation Opportunities come in many forms. May I recognize them today, accept them, and see where they will lead me.

September 1

”Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes the things that I think are not significant end up being more life changing than expected. I recently fell back into some of my addictive patterns, and contacted someone from my past that was not healthy for me. However I was able to back out of that headspace and into recovery again. The experience actually helped to reinforce how my values and morals have changed, that I am not the same person I used to be. In a way, it felt like a purging of the past, of old thoughts, fantasies and feelings that I was still carrying with me. My self-confidence is gradually returning as I face life’s challenges with new tools, from a new perspective, and walking with my Higher Power by my side. I now have the support of my fellowship and trust in them to be there for me no matter what comes my way. In the grand scheme of things, most of what I do is insignificant, yet as Gandhi points out, for me and me alone, it is important that I continue to make choices in living my life in recovery.

Affirmation I will find strength in places I did not expect, hope in despair, and love in hate. I need to be actively living and things will improve.