April 29

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” Zig Ziglar

It has been pretty clear to me in light of the current situation that my goals have shifted, rather drastically in fact. I am certain that I am not the only one going through a bit of an identity crisis as the places that I am needed and allowed to "work" has been greatly influenced. It has made me pause to reflect on what I really want to achieve in life. I still have a good solid job, waiting for me once restrictions lift and we go back to the new normal. In the meantime, however, how do I occupy my time. What "hobbies" do I focus on, are there other ways to use my skills and abilities? Is it a chance to safely explore other potential career paths? These are things that have been running through my mind. In all honesty, the jury is still out. I am weighing my options, while at the same time putting a more concerted effort into reaching out to solidify some aspects like my writing which could become something more than an occasional habit. The more important aspect for me is in realizing that this detour is still a part of the path forward to reaching the goals I want in life. Much of what is happening is beyond my control, yet that doesn't mean I do not have any control - I am still able to pick a direction and go that way. I can still choose the person I am aspiring to become.

Affirmation

Reflecting on who I am and who I wish to be can help me make the right choices today.

November 6

”Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” Arthur Golden

I used to think Utopia would be a world where everything was perfect, where there was no conflict, only peace, harmony and love. Somewhere along the way, I have come to believe that if such a place existed, well at least on Earth, I think it would be simply boring, dull and dreary. I honestly think that part of being human, perhaps even the essence of humanity, is our need to struggle and to challenge the norm. Our brief history in the universe is evidence to support this theory. Humans have continued to fight the wave, to go against popular belief, to explore, discover, invent, and hypothesize. Yet as we discover more about the world around us, I also see a trend in us turning more inward, in a growing movement of people to look deeper within ourselves. I do think certain cultures and pockets of society have done this for some time, but it seems to be a more common thread. The difficulties that I face in life, the “dark” or bad times of my life have often been the more powerful catalysts that have helped me to better understand myself. This is a primary focus of my recovery journey. It is a goal to look not only in the mirror to see the real me, but to deeply seek to know the entire being that I am through introspection, investigation, experimentation, meditation and experience. This is not only for me to better cope with my addiction, but to help me develop new traits, characteristics and tools to deal with life in new and better ways, to change some of the fundamental aspects of me that have been flawed for many years. Bring on the adversity!

Affirmation

Challenge is a chance for change. Let me be willing to know myself intimately.