February 24

”It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” George Washington

I’m not sure it’s always better to be alone. I spent many years being bad company to myself, without the help of anybody else. I was quite capable of finding ways to keep myself occupied and mostly in ways that I am not proud to share now. My addiction liked to keep me isolated as that was part of keeping me under control. On the other hand, being in poor company is not necessarily a better option. Peer pressure can have a big impact on affecting how I act and the choices that I make. Getting caught up in the momentum of a party or group setting can encourage me to engage in activities that I wouldn’t normally consider. This is why part of me recovery program focuses on the people I keep in my entourage. From those I have met in the program, to family and friends, I have needed to evaluate which relationships are nurturing from those which are toxic. These influences have the ability to strengthen or weaken my resolve and determination to stick with my steps and my path of sobriety.

Affirmation Relationships play a huge part in maintaining my program of recovery, and I will seek to keep the healthy ones going. I will resolve to let the poor influencers go their own way.

November 13

”When you listen to somebody else, whether you like it or not, what they say becomes part of you.” David Bohm

It’s actually a relief to feel like I am a product of other people and that my interactions with others have helped me to become the person that I am today. If I look back over my years in my addiction, I wanted nothing to do with anyone else unless it was supporting my bad habits in some way. I was really only a product of my selfish desire at that point, and I certainly was not interested in taking on bits of other people. And I am quite certain that I wasn’t doing a whole lot of listening either. Life today is more wholesome. I realize that there are many aspects to who I am as an individual. I know that there are many people, places and things that influence who I am and that can alter my course, positively or negatively. I also know that I don’t have all the answers. Never did, and likely never will. So reaching out for help was a big step. Admitting that I couldn’t do it all on my own and that I needed, heck even wanted, someone else to get me through this was significant. Like the third step, this was mostly about willingness. Being humble enough to realize that without others supporting me, I was not going to change and stay on the right path. Thankfully I have been able to stick with this decision, and know that I have gained a great deal from all those I have met along the way.

Affirmation I am unique, not just simply because of how I was created, but also because of all my experiences and connections with all the people who have crossed my path.

August 30

”If someone is in your life, it is because they have a gift for you, and you have a gift for them.” Robert Holden, Ph.D.

I do believe, as I have always believed, that everything happens for a reason. I may have formerly attributed this to fate, or the will of the universe, but today I believe it to be the will of the God of my understanding. Regardless of what I believe, I do know that the people who are in my life are there because I have something to learn from them, and hopefully something I can share in return. I believe this to be true not only of those people who I would say have a more positive effect in my life, but equally true of the detractors. In some ways I think those that I would rather see in a negative light often have a lot more to offer to me, more that I am expected to experience and grow from while they are part of my life. I am realizing that often, if not always, the people that I seem to struggle having in my life are that way because it reflects my own defaults of character. My life is influenced by everyone around me. In turn, I too influence the lives of those who touch my own. In the past I didn’t recognize this relationship, and frankly would not likely even have cared if I had. Today, however, I am aware and that gives me a certain responsibility to try and be a positive influence in the lives of others. And to be aware when I am someone else’s detractor and work at changing that.

Affirmation We are all connected, each a player in the lives of those around us. As a child of my Higher Power, I will strive to treat all my siblings well.

August 14

”I am part of all I have met.” Lord Alfred Tennyson

I am unique. My uniqueness comes not only from all the parts inherent in me from birth, but also from everything I have experienced in my life. As true as it is that I have influenced everyone I have come into contact with, so too have I been influenced in return by them. Those I have been more regularly exposed to or that I have let closer into my personal life have had more potential to both nurture and damage parts of me. In some ways this is what allows me to feel more at ease when sharing my darker secrets with strangers in the program, the connection to my personal core is not as strong. There is another dimension. When I begin to see myself as a part of a larger community and recognize the influence I can have, I then have a responsibility to try and be a positive influence. I can strive to be someone who will enhance the journey and lives of others rather than being a hindrance or obstacle. For me this is one way of showing that I am doing the will of my Higher Power.

Affirmation My uniqueness is a gift, but one that is meant to be shared, not hoarded or squandered. May I be a positive influence in the world today.

May 18

”Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.” Irving Berlin

It is still hard for me to admit just how small the realm of things I can influence actually is. I still have too much of the tendency to want to control things that are beyond me. And really, when I stop to look at my life, there is more than enough to occupy my attention and energy if I stay focused on me and what I am able to do. My biggest challenge is still in letting things happen as they are meant to happen. There are often times when I can influence or force something to take place, but rarely do I get the results that I imagine. Letting circumstances follow their natural course and schedule takes a lot of patience, and a continual turning over of my will and life to my Higher Power. Many of my most prized tools in recovery, repeating the Serenity Prayer, the 12 Steps and Traditions, deep breathing, prayer and meditation – all these are ways of slowing me down. It’s important for me to incorporate these breaks into my day. It gives me the opportunity to refocus my attention and ground myself in the present. I don’t always have to be on the go, to be doing something to prove my existence. I need moments to simply be. To listen to my breathing, feel the beating of my heart, to smell the air…to simply exist in the here and now. I am me and being alive is wonderful.

Affirmation Today I take the time to simply be me, to reflect on where I am and my surroundings.