April 27

”The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.” Brian Tracy

Life is full, I am so busy doing things these days I often wonder how I managed to keep up my addictive life. There are so many activities to fill my time, so much I want to experience, that I wonder why I thought putting all my effort into one stream of behaviour would make me happy. There is so much more potential in each day, each hour, and each moment that I am grateful I am no longer wasting them by feeding my addiction. It is wonderful to be connected to the world once again. To be part of the rhythm of nature, connected to the ebb and flow of the seasons, beginnings, endings and the transitions in between. To feel the surge of energy in the spring time, to rejoice in the return of the birds and their songs forgotten through the cold winter. To bask in the sun, feeling its warmth penetrating into my soul. To watch the leaves change to burnt yellow, fire orange and crimson red and fall to the ground as the trees prepare to sleep through the winter. To see the perfect snowflakes floating in the air, each unique like one of us, to build a snow man or fort, go skating or tobogganing, then warm myself around a fire with hot cocoa. Life is filled with thousands of small precious possibilities that I took for granted, tossed aside ungraciously as I slaved to fill the relentless desires of my addictive self. As I rediscover myself, fill my days with my outer circle behaviours and activities, the whole world is once again my playground. And I am like a kid again, just waiting for the next adventure.

Affirmation

Each moment is precious, a possibility for a small wonder to be experienced and cherished. May I accept each of these tiny gifts and make them a part of my recovery.

February 15

”The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is.” Oscar Wilde

Too much of my life has been spent looking for things outside myself to make me feel happy, complete and content. It’s taken a lot of personal progress to realize that while it’s nice to have things like money, a good job, friends, a life partner, etc. these are only temporary sources of happiness. And that even with all this in my life, I can still be discontent. True happiness comes from within. It’s the acceptance of being who I am, how I am. It’s being alright with everything, my strengths and weaknesses. It’s realizing that my past is what has brought me today, but that today is a gift and I have the freedom to live it how I choose. All this means that each day is an opportunity to be who I truly am, to live to my fullest potential, to devour all the joy and wonder of this world. I can choose to push past the negativity of life, to make the most of all that life has to offer. This is my power, and my responsibility to take my place in the world rather than letting others dictate what it should be. I owe this freedom to my Creator, who gave me everything I will ever needed when I was born into this world. Its time I start using all those talents to make a difference.

Affirmation I need not strive for perfection; I have everything I need within me. I simply need to make the choice to use my God-given talents, and lead the life I was meant to live.

January 19

”Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” George Bernard Shaw

Much of my life has been dominated by me fears. And it is those fears which have held me back, which have been obstacles to allow me to take certain risks in my life. I am afraid of being rejected, of those unwilling to accept me as I am. I am afraid of not being loved or worthy of love. I am afraid of being abandoned, left alone with no one to keep dear and near to my heart. These fears lock me into the present. They bind me to what is comfortable, make me less willing to try something new, to truly listen to my intuition and follow my dreams. These things I am afraid of keep me from striving to reach my full potential. Yet recovery is showing me I am worthy of all that I hope and dream of. It is teaching me that my Higher Powers will is to have all this and more. I am not alone. I am not worthless. I am loved, capable, talented, and beautiful. I can overcome and I will succeed.

Affirmation I will face my fears to make way for the new choices I want to make to start making my own trail in life.

December 18

”Only one may enter here, one whose worth lies far within. A diamond in the rough.” Quote from the movie “Aladdin”

I was walking in the winter snow recently, down a side street where the plows had passed and spread out their sand and salt. Most of the snow was no longer white as a result, but as I watched, the sun came out and to my surprise; the snow still sparkled in its brilliance, even under all the dirt. I found this metaphor quite suitable for my life. I believe that my life has been more like that dirty snow, mixed up with a bunch of things that have not kept me pure or on the right path. Yet, when the sun shines, or better when my purpose is alit by my Higher Power, it reveals that the beauty and potential is still there, even when I didn’t see it. The things I need to succeed in life have already been provided to me, I just have to work with them in spite of all the dirt around me. Recovery is teaching me that I have much worth that has lain far within for far too long. As I shed the skin of my addiction, push away that filth that I attracted for too long, I too, can be a brilliant snowflake to shine in the light of my Creator.

Affirmation My potential to follow the path of the God of my understanding is always there, I just need to be reminded to shine from time to time.

February 3

“Fantasies are more than substitutes for an unpleasant reality; they are also dress rehearsals, plans. All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination.” Barbara Grizzati Harrison

Gaining sobriety gives us a huge advantage of looking at the world and situations with new eyes. One place where this can make a huge difference is in looking at our dreams and fantasies. Whereas our mind has been plagued by our compulsive addictive thinking, being able to work our programs frees us to have more positive thoughts. We can turn our fantasies back into a healthy and productive activity, to mentally prepare for a test or interview, to plan a vacation or special event like a wedding, or to simply dream of where our lives will take us as a recovering addict. We all have an amazing potential that has lain dormant, pushed away into the recesses of our mind by our overwhelming sexual desires. Bringing our aspirations back to the forefront helps us to gain hope for brighter future.

Affirmation I can dare to dream again and take back my power of fantasy and imagination.