February 25

” You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” Maya Angelou

There is a great deal of wisdom in the many sayings and slogans that I have found in the program. One Day at a Time. Live and Let Live. First Things First. Let Go and Let God. These and others are simple reminders to be aware of my surroundings, especially in the moments when I get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. They are also warnings that I need to slow down, to allow myself the time to digest what is happening around me, to prioritize and focus on the things that really matter. Life is full of ups and downs; with moments where I am crazy busy to others where I am bored stiff, and many places in between. There are times when I feel defeated, where it seems like almost everything is stacked against me, and others where I feel like I am on top of the world. Through it all, I am learning that the importance is to be present in the moment. I am gradually seeing that nothing is good or bad, but is an experience that is there to help me grow and be challenged. It is my attitude towards life that has changed significantly, and not so much the world around me. I will not be defeated, and I have faith that this is true. The program has given me a solid foundation, based on spirituality that I had set aside during those darker years, that I know will keep me in good stead through all that is to come. I have a strong network of friends, in and out of recovery, and family to support me in all that life has in store. I choose to be in recovery today, and that is far from being defeated.

Affirmation The triumphs of recovery are to keep rising each time I fall, to stop repeating mistakes, and to trust in the process of the 12 Steps.

July 31

”Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.” Josephus Daniels

I do believe that as long as I hold onto hope that anything I want still remains a possibility. I just need to be careful that my wants and desires are aligned with my authentic self and reflect the will of my Higher Power. Therefore I can only give in to defeat when I lose faith, give up hope and stop trusting in the guidance of the God of my understanding. There is an opposite view – I will never start to receive help and guidance from my Higher Power until I admit that I need it and ask for it. This is the foundation of the 12 Steps, and more particularly the first three. As one member summarizes them; I have a problem, there is help, and I need to ask for it. Until I was ready to admit I had a problem there was no way anyone could have convinced me that I needed help. Nor was any aid that was offered to me attractive. The decision had to come from within first. What I can appreciate about choosing not to be defeated and choosing to be in recovery is that they are both healthy demonstrations of my willpower. Again, as a fellow member has shared, we don’t have won’t power in terms of our addictive behaviour,; once we start down the path our addiction generally wins the battle. But we do have willpower to do something else and that is the power of the program.

Affirmation I can have hope, I can choose my recovery and I can exercise my willpower to do things to support my program.