November 17

”Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of a greater or equal benefit.” Napoleon Hill

I find the word adversity used quite often in self-help materials, so I finally decided to look it up in the dictionary. Merriam-Webster defines it as “a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune.” I would say that more often I feel people equate it with a challenge or struggle, rather than such a dire circumstance as the definition leads me to believe it is meant to be used. Definition aside, I am coming to see the patterns in my life, particularly in recovery, where my most difficult periods have led to my biggest rewards. Even though that may be the case, it is often little consolation when I am struggling with an unpleasant situation. Like many things, those tough times can only be viewed as the start of a change towards something better in retrospect. So where does that leave me? Well the saying “This too shall pass” comes to mind. I do trust that my Higher Power is there with me, helping me to get through the storm and out the other side. I just have to keep my faith, keep persevering, continue putting one foot in front of the other and I will get where I am supposed to be going.

Affirmation

Life is a mixture of good times and bad, and the challenging times are opportunities for me to mature and grow.

November 6

”Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” Arthur Golden

I used to think Utopia would be a world where everything was perfect, where there was no conflict, only peace, harmony and love. Somewhere along the way, I have come to believe that if such a place existed, well at least on Earth, I think it would be simply boring, dull and dreary. I honestly think that part of being human, perhaps even the essence of humanity, is our need to struggle and to challenge the norm. Our brief history in the universe is evidence to support this theory. Humans have continued to fight the wave, to go against popular belief, to explore, discover, invent, and hypothesize. Yet as we discover more about the world around us, I also see a trend in us turning more inward, in a growing movement of people to look deeper within ourselves. I do think certain cultures and pockets of society have done this for some time, but it seems to be a more common thread. The difficulties that I face in life, the “dark” or bad times of my life have often been the more powerful catalysts that have helped me to better understand myself. This is a primary focus of my recovery journey. It is a goal to look not only in the mirror to see the real me, but to deeply seek to know the entire being that I am through introspection, investigation, experimentation, meditation and experience. This is not only for me to better cope with my addiction, but to help me develop new traits, characteristics and tools to deal with life in new and better ways, to change some of the fundamental aspects of me that have been flawed for many years. Bring on the adversity!

Affirmation

Challenge is a chance for change. Let me be willing to know myself intimately.

April 13

”Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as adversity has done. Out of pain and problems have come the sweetest songs, the most poignant poems, the most gripping stories. Out of suffering and tears have come the greatest spirits and the most blessed lives.” Billy Graham

It’s true that nothing drives change more than pain and suffering. I’m realizing now that’s always been the case for me, but it is also where the talents given to me work the best to get me through it. I wish I had put the two together sooner, I might have suffered less. It’s my talent of writing that is my God-send to help me through those difficult times. It started in my teens, and while I was going through that awkward journey to adulthood, I wrote many poems during my times of sadness, depression, rejection and loss. I am only realizing now that was a healthy way for me to cope, and it was something I took for granted. It is those same skills that have been the foundation for my work these past years. Putting my thoughts to paper, allowing my self-conscious and the will of my Higher Power to guide me, has started to bring forth wisdom in my moments of clarity. But all these comes from the foundation of darkness I had to go through first in order to need to work my way back towards the light.

Affirmation

I acknowledge that it is through pain and suffering I am prepared to experience the better things that will follow, and to appreciate them all the more. I will look to my talents to help me navigate the stormy waters.

December 31

”In the middle of a difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

As another year draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on all that has happened. It has been a year of turmoil, challenge and adversity. But in the midst of all that, I have learned an enormous amount about myself. I have reconnected to my spiritual centre and I have changed and grown. As another member recently shared, it is through all those difficulties that my life has improved and so in truth I am grateful, although most of those times were not pleasant while I was right in the middle of them. The dawning of a new year holds 365 days of promise and hope for my life to continue in its current and better direction of recovery. I don’t know all that awaits me this year, but having survived the challenges of the present year with the aide of the tools of my recovery that I have learned, I know I am much better prepared to step into the coming year. I am learning to seek the opportunity in the challenges that life presents me. Rather than cowering and hiding from difficulties, I am opening myself to embrace them and to see the potential for growth and change. Look out world, here I come!

Affirmation I am learning to live and cope with life on life’s terms. The program is teaching me how to deal better with all life’s challenges.

December 1 (63)

”It isn’t whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get back up.” Vince Lombardi

There is little doubt in my mind that life will continue to throw obstacles in my way. Things are not always going to go according to my own plans. Yet as I grow closer to my Higher Power, I am loosening my grip on the path of my own life and opening up to the will of the God of my understanding. This means I accept that I am going to fall, that I will experience set-backs as I move through the events of my life. Yet each day in recovery, each step I take in working my program, builds my confidence, resilience and capacity to deal with this adversity.  The program and my recovery family are teaching me new skills and tools that help me manage all kinds of different situations. The 12 Steps may be a suggested program of recovery for addictions but they are also a fundamental set of principles for general life skills. The importance as I face these challenges is to remember to put them in perspective. To ask for help when I need it. To realize that this too shall pass. To turn over those things not in my control to my Higher Power. It’s these small things that help to chip away at my seemingly insurmountable problems to reduce them into something I can face and overcome.

Affirmation The program is teaching me how to live a better life. May I remember to put into practice the tools and skills I am learning.

July 11

”A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.” English Proverb

My day usually starts by praying to God to ask Him for the strength to pick up my cross and carry it. I wear a crucifix pendant around my neck, and have pretty much since I was a teenager, but have been more conscious that it is a reminder that my Higher Power is always with me. Yet I still acknowledge that there will be challenges and difficulties that meet me each day. Being in recovery and dealing with life on life’s terms still can be daunting. I am learning how I can apply my recovery tools in many real world situations, but it still takes time and energy. The most useful tool is probably still the Serenity Prayer in helping me look at those things that are actually within my control and those that I can do nothing about. It is clear that adversity and the tests of life are the stimulation I need to keep making changes in my life. Working the steps provides opportunities to remove obstacles between me and the God of my understanding. At the same time I am gaining incredible self-awareness and the ability to feel like a whole person again. The hard work of facing life’s challenges pays off in the rewards of building my character.

Affirmation I will take on today’s challenges with the knowledge that my Higher Power is standing beside me, cheering for me to succeed, learn and grow.

May 7

”Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.” Henry Kaiser

Lately I have become grateful for adversity. I have gained enough serenity and sobriety that I have been able to weather several challenging storms in my recovery, a number of which have had little to do with my addiction but were simply life events. I have not done this on my own, by any stretch of the imagination. I has required a great reliance on my Higher Power and my support network, my fellowship, family and friends. The part I am grateful for is that I am coming to more readily accept the need to surrender in situations where I have little control and to reach out for help. I have jokingly shared with others that I have been able to establish an emergency hotline to my Higher Power. Yet this is a good thing as it shows how I have strengthened my faith. While I have still had many pulls to fall back into my old ways in these times of stress, they have only lasted moments. Through the grace of God, I have had the ability to choose to pick up a tool of recovery or to reach out to multiple people in my fellowship. I am learning to trust and express my feelings instead of bottling them inside me. I shared at a meeting that I feel I have no choice but to continue picking up tools of recovery. One member reminded me that the choice is always there. It humbled me, and at the same time strengthened me to see that I can do things differently by trusting in my Higher Power and the program. Life can be sane even it times of chaos.

Affirmation I will seek opportunity in adversity; challenges are times for me practice what I preach in recovery.